Highlights include, but are not limited to:
*a live, dog-friendly trail
*if you don’t have a dog, bring along a stuffed animal doggie companion
*a keg of Who’s Your Daddy-approved Fresh Squeezed (unless it’s Lagunitas; then it’s Lagunitas)
*dashes of shiggy in varying flavors
*gentle inclines
*a bullshit prize to be awarded at the bullshit discretion of your bullshit hares
*a musher/sled dog split
*glitter-infused flour
*the single greatest porneaux check ever: whoever finds and returns to me my lost porno will receive my undying gratitude and a bottle of Veuve Clicquot to help ring in their new year