Run #1504 Potties and Ponies!

The Little Queen herself, Chickenboner laid the trail for the Gypsies and where better than in Golden Gate Park at the Polo Fields parking lot with its sparkling toilets and chukkered, pardon the pun, history. The pack was graced by the presence of Splat, Gypsy of old, and the pack insisted on him pounding the Lagunitas Hazy Wonder as soon as the Outbeer arrived! Mr. Bone Jangles, another oldy and goody, had been regaling the pack with the story of Splat earning his name! Adopt A Pussy and Backside Banger led the chant of “Drink, Drink, Drink” in the hopes of Splat living up to his name. Splat didn’t become a rocket scientist by falling for every request that he go splat soared above the fray and kept his feet firmly planted on the asphalt. The White HouseH3 sent a pair of its devotees, Itchy Bitchy Spider and KY Belly to sample the pleasures of the Gypsies. Splat introduced IBS and KYB to one of the pleasures of the Gypsies by proving a stirring sermon on “family values” from the Sacred Missal 2.0. Splat provided a series of helpful visuals assist the more hearing impaired, spell that “already” drunk, members of the pack like King Bed Bug who dismissed his state by slurring that he never follows trail anyway. Our hare was by now off setting some portion of the trail but left a visual chalktalk for the pack. CSI was pleased that CB had left a clue to what the pack could expect with her circled SHITTY TRAIL and an arrow showing the starting direction. CSI and Splat cast their lots with the Lost Patrol and put themselves in the hands of Tongueless and Fits In. This is what can happen if you don’t consume enough beer before starting, Splat had no excuse. Trail took all and sundry down Middle Dr. W before delving into the park’s flora. The trail climbed a bit then descended back to Martin Luther King, Jr. Dr. Manhole was ahead and deep in conversation with Wash This Asshole who was giving him precise instructions for Insta Potting his next 10 years of meals. It’s unlikely that MH had enough room on his palms to take all the notes he’d need! Trail ran straight and true through the woods with the pack avoiding being killed crossing Transverse Dr. It was a near run thing for Jack The Ripper who made the mistake of looking over his shoulder to see that the LP was there. The brakes on that 18-wheeler smelled like overcooked steak but they worked, phew! Trail stayed in the woods until it crossed back over Middle Dr. W and back into the woods. There was the rounding of Elk Glen Lake with its usual waterfowl on display. This was followed by the long stretch of woods before trail climbed back to pass Metson Lake. Trail culminated with a ritual rounding of the Polo Field Toilets with the pack bowing their heads as they passed. Once back the parking lot was retaken by the Gypsies, out came the keg to be shielded by the Cloak Of Invisibility and the boxes of Vitamin J. The Sacred Bucket was filled with Stone Fences. Just Ted Aka The Other Bastard soon enough found himself tripping over the Fences. Eat My Pussy as usual eschewed the keg in favor of his personal bar. Gingervitus on the other hand was willing to lower his sights and partake of the Bucket. They were soon the dear departed. One Night Only was heard singing Don’t Fence Me In as she sped into the night. 5150 limped in nursing his painful hip with enough Bucket and piss to assure him a painless evening that would not exist in his memory. Tri Crapelete explained to Just Georgina that the Bucket was better than a flu shot so she made sure to put down plenty; the cold and flu season is approaching! Hand Pump made it back with no shedding of blood and technically Phone Sex was the DFL at least by auto. Tongueless took up the Sword Of Power and convened a more or less circular Circle. For a change the down-down drinking miscreants were actually serenaded. Our hare received a resounding tribute from her minions. The high point was when Splat serenaded Phone Sex with his song, Cougar in a Cage. Yes, it WAS that kind of an evening! Cheers.