Run #1509 Blown Away by Dr. K!

Dr. Kimble ended Sept. for the Gypsies with a trail that had everything, stairs, freeway crossings, freezing fog and hurricane winds! The good Doctor called the pack together at the Spencer Ave. Park and Ride Lot on the east side of 101 in Sausalito. The Gypsies and assorted hangers on answered his clarion call and filled the parking lot to bursting. The EastbayH3 sent their champions, the likes of Butt Plug FRED and Tonya Hard On. As if they weren’t tough enough Twerkxes Like Xerxes whipped out of THO’s car and bared her flesh to the elements, the wind had her twerksing without even moving. While it’s true that it only takes half a mind to hash even some half minds can see the wind blowing over trees and realize that they have something really important to be doing…elsewhere. That’s the case of Code 4 For Butt who all but pushed Butt Plug FRED out of the car as she sped away, ah love! Comes So Often had to keep explaining that the blue in her hair wasn’t from the cold! Just Fuck Off was laughing at the cold but then she was wearing enough clothes to weather an overnight on Everest! Just Ted Aka The Other Bastard was relying on his fur lined Speedo to keep him warm. JT moved his blue lips to say that he figured with all that gear JFO was wearing he was sure to be faster! Imagine his chagrin as JFO stripped before starting. Of course, the “It’s always warmer in Marin!” crowd was well represented by Do Her Well and Just Doesn’t  Get It who clearly still wasn’t getting it. Once again, the weather was no match for the siren song of all the beer they could hold and even having to hold a pint in two hands to keep it from blowing away didn’t stop the pack from pounding the keg of Lagunitas IPA. The pack was clearly in need of religion to warm them up and Goes Down Easy with Just Mauka’s leash in one hand and the Sacred Missal in the other preached a sermon that warmed the cockles of Princess Slut’s heart if she had one! Um, of course she would tell you that she has two so warming one doesn’t do the job. With the pack weeping icy tears Dr. K decided to give them a chalktalk telling them that the Eagle trail was 5 miles, the Turkey Trail 4.9 and the Walker’s Trail 6, he hates Walkers, and sent them off in search of flour. Of course, this being Dr. K the Eagle trail started in a different direction. The Lost Patrol was joined by Chickenboner even after Fits In warned her that Tongueless assumed he knew where trail, all the trails, would go and would be flapping his lips the whole time congratulating himself on his knowledge. The Eagles such as they were, oh you know, the likes of Who’s Your Daddy and Hand Pump took off with the rest of the bird brains while the weak in limb and fortitude climbed an interminable number of stairs before descending to climb an even longer set. At this point T an FI bagged it bur CB being made of sterner stuff stayed in the game as WYD thundered down to her. The Eagle trail joined the others and took the pack all the way to South St. in Sausalito. As he dropped lower even Jack The Ripper realized the futility of doing the entire trail. With his jeans soaked with sweat, Wash This Asshole was praying that Bitches Bitch would live up to his Savior Complex and, well, save him. Trail took the gluttons for punishment back up to Wolfback Ridge Rd. and past Scrumbag’s house to bring them back across l01 and FINALLY back to the start. Missed Delivery was so sweaty that he was caked in ice before he could get dry clothes on. Just Joshua lay on the asphalt claiming he’d just fought and lost the battle of Jericho! Lois Lame was concerned that Bitches Bitch might be the one needing rescue this time but Manhole just laughed having been passed by BB both times he did the trail and pulled another pint. Speaking of pints Tricrapalete neatly dodged the pint pitched at him by Just Jeorgina! Hand Pump was the DFL by about 2 hours but he did it all, and his way! The keg was tapped and the Cloak Of Invisibility dropped over it to be covered with Vitamin J and the Sacred Thermi filled with coffee to be mixed with the Irish Cream, Kahlua, and brandy from the bottles supplied. Missed Delivery used the coffee to melt the ice from the inside out. Those who didn’t freeze or get blown away had a fine time. Cheers.