Run #1518 Par for the Course at Lincoln Park

One Night Only closed out September for the Gypsies with a trail from the parking lot of the Lincoln Park Golf Course on 34^th Ave. and Clement. All the cool kids were there and so was Cums So Often the East BayH3 reincarnation of Pepe Le Poop. What a refrain, “Has anyone paid for me yet!” Apparently, she was supposed to be carried by 5 Angry Inches but he wasn’t there yet. Not to worry, the Gypsies are full of gents and Twinkle Dick popped for her but not until after CSO and Fits In had done the “No, the Gypsies don’t use PayPal, no the Gypsies don’t use Venmo, no the Gypsies don’t accept Crypto but, yes, the Gypsies take CASH!” dance. With that out of the way the pack settled down to pounding pints of Lagunitas Hazy Wonder from the keg in the Outbeer while the golfers gaped at their brazen disregard for the law! Drinking in public, unheard of! You could hear their clubs rattle as they packed them into their trunks. ONO was so moved by the generosity of TD that she stepped forward to preach from the pages of the Sacred Family Missal on the virtues of generosity and familial love. If Backwash had cried any harder the drought would be over. Our hare declared that the trail would provide great views but encouraged the pack to not fall off any cliffs, sage advice. ONO took the Lost Patrol under her wing and led them up 34^th Ave or as it’s now known, Legion of Honor Drive. Closet Twitcher wondered aloud if the likes of him should even be on such a posh thoroughfare. Chickless Boner and Adopt A Pussy practically collided while handing CT their business cards in case he wanted to take legal action. Backside Banger voiced a more immediate concern about the possibility of purchasing food and drink on trail. Trail led around the Legion of Honor and down El Camino Del Mar to the steps going down to the Coastal Trail. As the pack staggered down the steps. Who’s Your Daddy could be heard taking bets on who would take a header, Tongueless, Jack The Ripper or Hand Pump. Never one to miss a bet, Wash This Asshole only asked what odds were being given on each of them! Trail stayed on the Coastal Trail and past the big portable toilet where Chickenboner said the Blessing of the Shining Shitter in honor of WYD, who worships them. As the pack crossed the Camino Del Mar parking lot the unity of the pack collapsed with some going one way and some another. Dr. Kimble had pulled up lame, thanks to his trail the week before, and ascended the trail leading to the VA Hospital. While this was not what ONO had had in mind she followed along with the rest of the LP. Let it be said that this was not a trail that lacked steepness or shiggy, both were there in full. The LP was doing its own work zigging and zagging around the Authorized Personnel Only signs and the government buildings. The truth be told no one seeing them would want to get any closer than absolutely necessary. The pack departed the VA Medical Center at 42^nd Ave. and Clement St. From there it was a hop, skip and a jump, or as in Dr. K’s case a limp back to the start. The keg was tapped and the Cloak Of Invisibility dropped over the keg. Backside Banger is becoming quite adept at pulling the tap through the hole on the Cloak. The table was covered with Vitamin J and the Sacred Bucket was filled with River Madness. As one who always “follows the science” Dr. K administered several large doses of River Madness and soon his Achilles tendon was doing the happy dance! Tricrapalete found that the River Madness was even more effective when combined with large amounts from the keg. Our favorite bookie, WYD observed that T, HP, and JTR were all unscathed so reluctantly returned the bets. ONO had been in a baking frenzy and blessed the pack with three types of cookies all steeped in butter and sugar. Butter, sugar and alcohol being the Gypsies favorite food groups. Of course, there are also the nut fanciers like Dr. K. The pack was enjoying getting drunk and fat until Cuming Mutha and On All 4s found that their car had been broken into and a window lay shattered. Now that was a downer, at least there didn’t seem to be anything missing. It was Cheers, until then.