Run #460 Thumper Promises “Hot Lesbian Action”

Whoa, there was something for the pack to conjure with. Except for King Rongjon who announced his lesbianism in London no one knew there were any other lesbians in the Gypsies. The King wept as he welcomed Thumper out of the closet. What a shock. What’s next Chickless Boner admitting he’s had sex with something that still breathes? Hell, estrogen was in the air as Scarlett O’Hairy gave the pack some of that old time religion from the Sacred Missal. Scarlett just glowed as she played the pack like an organ with yet another parable of Nanci and Kelli. Eager Beaver seemed especially fascinated by some of the more technical descriptions to the point of taking notes. The look in his eyes said McTaco was pumping his fist in the air and going “yes, yes, yes” in the expectation of driving it home while driving her home. In a frenzy to finish the trail and get on to Thumper’s promise the pack was off like a rocket. Trail led to the obligatory first check where the pack was stunned to find that it could actually be solved in less than five or six hours. At one point the trail led to a children’s slide, ever open to a challenge Just Hans dived on head first. How sad for him to realize that he was no longer a child as his bulk wedged him in the slide. Manhole, understanding the concepts required for dislodging an object quickly leashed Otto to Hans’ wrist threw several treats down the slide and as Otto lunged for the treats applied his rather large foot to Hans’ ass. The combination sent Hans down the slide like Chinese food followed by Ex-Lax. From this point trail took the pack to Precita Park where the ever thirsty Pump Fake was noticed going through brown paper bags in search of a last drop that could tide him over to the promised beer check. Sadly for our hare Shithead wasn’t present as there were enough stairs involved to impress even him. As long as there was an up to go the trail went up. It wound its way through Bernal Heights to Bernal Heights Park where with no concern for the possible law suits our hare sent the pack on a cliff side romp guaranteed to pucker many a sphincter. One look over the edge had Whippet Out contemplating Tongueless’ double indemnity policy and Fits In and Whippet In a life of leisure. Tongueless choosing discretion over valor kept to the high ground denying them any sudden windfalls. Perseverance led to the beer check on Bernal Heights Blvd. From the beer check it was a straight shot back to the start at Holly Park Circle and the Sacred Bucket. I R Stupid arrived too late to follow the trail but not to late to bitch about the Bucket filled with rum, lime juice, tonic. Foolishly I R bitched to Fits In but happily his groin injury should be healed in three to four weeks. No Hands had no problem with the Bucket and eventually was found in the bushes with Comes Quickly’s pooch indulging in behavior promoted by hash songs. It’s unclear whether Naked Hasher fled the scene out of an inability to handle Thumper’s promise or because the temperature was below 80 degrees. Gored Bush wasn’t the least bit interested in Thumper’s promise as she had to be at the airport to pick up a friend and her mother. Winking, grinning, and definitely feeling the Bucket she coyly allowed that “my friend is a babe and so is her mom” wink wink nudge nudge. With Bigfoot hors de conjugatlity Enter The Gerbil seemed awfully interested in what the winks and nudges might portend, but then he was just as fascinated with watching No Hands in the bushes. With so much promised down-downs were disposed of quickly and the pack moved on to what Thumper had promised as the main event. King Rongjon was in such a hurry that he eschewed the Sword Of Power for a handy stick or it could just be he was so toasted he couldn’t tell the difference. Open Wide an acknowledged expert in oral activity was unable to contain herself so was the first one to reach the site of the on-on-on and the promised activities the Wild West Side. When the Gypsies’ favorite blonde entered the place a hush fell over the room and she spent the rest of the evening plaintively begging Likes To Lick , “Jack, pleeeeease don’t leave me” and desperately trying to not have to go to the bathroom. Yet another victim of be careful what you wish for. A thoroughly toasted Nutless Sac was overjoyed when one of the ladies in question said she would “set his dick on fire” until he realized she meant it. Muff Snatcher could really have avoided the beating he took had he only introduced himself by his nerd name instead of his hash name. On the other hand Dick Chick like a momma bear defending her cub saved him from an even worse fate while exhibiting some moves that would have left Jackie Chan in awe. Speaking of awe Just Bruce spent the evening with his jaw sweeping the floor. Sad to report that the “hottest” thing was the Mexican food our hare brought in. On-on to the next fantasy. Cheers