Run #475 It Only Hurts the First Time

Ah, a virgin lay thought Snakeless! A chance to show up and excoriate yet another hare, no matter how good a trail they set I can always leave them feeling miserable and who knows mayhap Tits 4 Hire would rather give auld Erin’s answer to not really very much a bj than have me tell her what a miserable hare she was. Oh goody, goody, goody. So began the odyssey of the Gypsies’ latest virgin hare Tits 4 Hire. She gathered the pond scum of hashing together at the DMV on Baker and Fell to send them in search of Jell-O and other shots on yet another cold and windy San Francisco evening. Religion was deftly handled by Woody, formerly of SydneyH3, whose reading from the Sacred Missal left Glory Hole with a cricket bat in his shorts and Just Hans in need of a stain remover. The hare provided a pack of lies to lull the pack into a dream world where hills didn’t exist and the only stairs exist in Shithead’s fevered brain. Just as the pack was about to leave Naked Hasher leapt from his car dressed to either be on-on or collect spare change from civilians which ever came first. One can only guess at the number of now naked derelicts who sacrificed so he could acquire his current wardrobe, but at least he’s warmer. Trail took off down Oak where the pack was stymied by the first check. Thanks to the hare the pack faced more pitfalls than Son Of Shit in a gay bar. Using alleys that no one had ever seen or would again Tits 4 Hire had Handjob For Humanity offering to live up to her name for any wino who could direct her to a spot of flour. D’anglin Anglin became so lost and confused that he ended up in the Alzheimer’s ward at San Francisco General courtesy of SF’s finest. There was a shot check in some park somewhere whose name and location now escape your scribe. Leaving the park Tongueless decided to rely on his unerring sense of direction and became hopelessly lost dragging Fits In and Whippet In and Whippet Out into the toilet with him. When Scarlett O’Hairy inquired as to just how he managed to get lost so often Fits In replied,” Ah Tongueless, given enough time he could fuck up a wet dream.” While this was going on the pack had arrived in Lafayette Park and were busy lapping up Jell-O shots. Watching Sucks Donnie Osmond demonstrate his tongue technique on one of those little cups had Cream Filled Buns wondering how he would do on a cream filled bun. Nicely liquored up the pack turned toward home and a chance to send their livers to hell. Back at the start under the benevolent gaze of a statue of William McKinley the pack broke out he Sacred Bucket filled with Sea Breezes and forgot about the cold. Just Vincent taking two leafs from Twinkle Dick’s book arrived by bicycle and then got so wasted he had to be bungied to his bike while Manhole made book on just which car would be the one to finish him. A few, well actually quite a few, too many turned Just Doesn’t Get It into a real animal lover. Sadly the owner of the Jack Russell he was fondling wasn’t so pleased. It got really ugly when he foolishly turned his attention to Bite Size. By the time Drill Me pulled her off him…well lets just say that Just Doesn’t Get It won’t be getting it for quite some time. The Ripper was a late arrival, apparently he wasn’t planning on being there at all but the scent of Sea Breezes wafting through his open car window sent him careening to the curb. Bigfoot was another late arrival having gotten caught up in Rhett Butthole’s latest porno tape she lost all track of time but promised Enter The Gerbil that all the notes she’d made would cum in handy later. Of course Enter The Gerbil had long since lost all track of time while enjoying Bucket World and if she’d promised to have him sucked off by giant leeches she’d have gotten the same reaction. Pencil Dick was busy trying to convince At Your Cervix that his name was not an example of truth in advertising but she was paying more attention to the Bucket than to him. Sword Of Power in hand King Rongjon leapt off the wagon and submersed himself in the Bucket only cumming up for air long enough to welcome Just Dan into the Order of the Sleepless Knights as Go Nad. In honor of the naming Splat led the pack in a new song sung to the tune of a Mozart ditty, are the Gypsies cultured or what. Nutless Sac was oblivious to the entire evening just pacing like a caged animal or a hasher with more sperm than he knows what to do with as he waited for the arrival of his new squeeze in the hope that she would squeeze him dry. Good luck. The pack eventually moved on to food and drink elsewhere. Hey Tits was it good for you. Cheers.