Run #480 From Jell-O to Texas

Okay, who the fuck did Bill Cosby pay off? Ever since Scarlett O’Hairy, or should she be called Dr. Frankenstein O’Hairy, made Jell-O shots for a trail in Pacifica her monster has dogged the Gypsies. Is there a problem with just ingesting alcohol the old fashioned way? Would someone just put a stake through the Jell-O shots heart, please? All Jell-O aside Dick Chick and her Texas toy boys Nutless Sac and No Hands laid on a great trail for the Second Anal Please Mess with Texas trail. The hares called the pack together at 16^th and Illinois for an A-B *un. Religion was skipped at the start as the Sacred Missal was in the beer wagon driven by Tongueless whose unerring sense of direction was no help in locating B. When a panicky pair of hares rang his cell inquiring as to his ETA Tongueless was only able to answer “Where am I? I’m at the fucking corner of Freeway and Freeway.” The Force was with the Gypsies since the alcohol did eventually find its correct location. In another sterling example of why he got his name Just Doesn’t Get It was still waiting around for the reading long after the rest of the pack had started. Even his bitch Bella took off with the pack. Oh well, being alone mustn’t seem odd to him anymore. Trail started with a leap of faith into a fenced in area. So claustrophobic is Naked Hasher that once he stopped weeping and found his way out it was back to his car and away. Trail then passed through an area more closely associated with headless corpses than hashers and the smell of stale urine was more prevalent than the scent of French perfume. On the other hand the thought of traversing the landscape alone even put wings on the feet of even perennial back of the pack habitués. This area might have been where Shithead disappeared never to be seen again, well we hope not. Whippet In and Whippet Out were constantly accosted by homeless hounds looking for a spare biscuit but ignored their pleas. Bite Size was a tad more demonstrative in her denial and, well, Drill Me won’t be needing to feed her for a few days. Has anyone thought to suggest Bite Size to Da Mayor as a component to his plan for dealing with the homeless? Human chameleon that he is Thurston Bowel The Turd *an swathed in his gray blanket and fit in perfectly actually making a few bucks off the more upscale locals. Those leftover bits of Scrotum puke added just the right touch. The ubiquitous Jell-O check took place in what is laughingly called a park in this neck of the woods. SCAF went above and beyond even the usual callousness of Gypsies by using a brace of the homeless as an easy chair and ottoman. Sharing his margarita Jell-O shot with them appeared to take the sting out and he did seem very relaxed. Trucking along the pack was misled by some well laid trail. FRB’s had the joy of dodging hither and yon around railroad tracks only to find they’d been circle jerked. No Hands was so happy he practically messed himself. While the trail sensibly avoided direct contact with the housing projects Chickless Boner chose a short cut that existed only in his fevered brain. Noting that he seemed an interloper one of the locals brained him with a rock. It being Chickless’ head the eventual score was Rock 0-Chickless 1. A Shiner Bock beer check was eventually achieved and thoughts of B and booze sent the pack flying for home. B was a gravel parking lot across from the Ramp which, wisely, had decided to close rather than be inundated by Gypsies. The table was laid and the Sacred Bucket was filled with yet another of Fits In’s sublime potions. Thanks to her work with the Sacred Bucket Fits In is now on MADD's most wanted list. This week hangovers were induced by a combination of lemonade, vodka, cognac and passion fruit liqueur. It wasn’t long before Open Wide in keeping with the Texas theme was putting the spurs to Likes To Lick and promising to ride him hard and put him away wet. That consummate cowgirl Dick Chick looked fetching with a broomstick horse between her legs. She had Udder Moron pawing the ground and begging her to swing into a real saddle. Nutless Sac was busy flaunting his new “girlfriend” Esther to the pack. How sad, once his credit card came back declined she just headed for his truck and locked herself in after telling the Ripper that “No, I don’t take American Express.” Rhett Butthole claims it was the Sacred Bucket that caused him to focus on Stool Sample, formerly of the Pine LakeH3, but D’anglin Anglin thinks their names might be a sign from Heaven. Could Rhett and Stool be new butt buddies or will At Your Cervix turn things around, so to speak, stay tuned. The return of Semen Monster had Stiffy living up to his name but she was more interested in the King. Flinging her arms around his newly buff bod Semen Monster dragged King Rongjon down for a best of three falls lust match. Too bad they landed on I R Stupid and just after he got out of that cast, still he didn’t seem to mind. Speaking of lust matches Just Ira was doing a remarkable impersonation of a Wonder Bra on Tits 4 Hire. Next time save the lift and separate for later. Phone Sex offered to pay for a room just to get them off the street. Enter The Gerbil was another late arrival and looking enough like death that Chickless Boner’s necrophiliac tendencies were starting to kick in. The gleam in his eye sent Bigfoot’s maternal instincts into overdrive and the mama bear threatened to send Chickless for a walk in the bone yard. Just Todd arrived at that point dressed like a lounge lizard and from the way he and Mossy Patch were getting on it seems he’s spent some time in that patch. Poor Cherry Popper from FrankurtH3 was so toasted that when Sniff My Box appeared he thought her name was an invitation. The results were ugly. Once he’d dragged his sword out of Semen Monster’s still quivering flesh and retrieved the Sword Of Power the King convened the circle and began dishing out down-downs. First up was Just Robert yet another stallion for Dick Chick. Our rodeo queen clearly planned to ride him to the buzzer. Though just in case he threw her Handjob For Humanity was clearly ready to saddle up and let him buck. Just Liz and Just Brian a clean cut duo had that deer in the headlights look as they finally realized what they’d gotten themselves into. Sorry too late. Not so Just Sarah a bit of fluff offered up for sacrifice by Chickless Boner who earlier in the week had been touting her on the Gypsies’ list as his own personal Hoover. Just Sarah provided a little late night religion from the Sacred Missal and if she locks her lips around other things the way she locked them around those words no wonder Chickless is saying Eureka. Just Pat and Just Terry were also happy campers, at least until the Bucket kicked in then they were just comatose campers. It must have been pretty close to the full moon since when Splat changed shirts it was clear that he was entering his werewolf phase of the month. Is it true that blonde werewolves have more fun? With the Ramp closed the pack moved on to Parkside. Eat shit and die Bill Cosby. Cheers.