Run #487 The Prince of Poison Oak

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of Gerbils? In the past Bigfoot would have been the only person who could answer that question but after Enter The Gerbil’s performance last Thursday night any Gypsy could tell you. The burning question, in more senses than one, is just how much stock he owns in the company that produces Technu. Speaking of itches Just Laura, another of Beats Me’s bimbos (just ten more and she’ll have her own Dirty Dozen), lived up to her prior billing and using the Sacred Missal as her weapon of choice left Mr. Bone Jangles feeling rode hard and put away wet. Her reading left Just Doesn’t Get It looking like Napoleon Boner Dog panting and tongue hanging out. Oh yeah, drool is so attractive. On the other hand a fascinated Beasty Boy seemed ready to live up to his name. Happily Just Doesn’t Get It is a fast enough *unner to not have to find out. Our hare got the pack off to a great start by *unning them through the sometimes pumpkin patch at 7^th and Lawton straight into enough Poison Oak to choke a horse. Whippet In and Whippet Out were thrilled to be able to run through the P O then lovingly rub themselves against Tongueless and Fits In. Drill Me was heard mumbling about barber’s clippers and how fast she could trim Bite Size while Bite Size just rolled further and further into the plants. Untroubled by the P O was Just Bob. We’ve always known he was strange but it’s the first time anyone’s noticed the “Born to Scratch” tattoo prominently displayed on his leg. Trail climbed steadily up the slope to 6^th Ave. where it crossed the street and went up some steps to end by fucking the FRBs and allowing the pack to enjoy the beauty of a long and grizzly circle jerk. Without further ado the pack was once more plunged into P O heaven and those few who may have avoided it on the first round were afforded another chance to acquire the makings of *unning sores. As Go Nad daintily danced around the plants Manhandler called him a pussy and doffing her T-shirt dove through the stuff. Still unclear on the concept but definitely in the mood Fuck Me Father went crashing after her. One can only hope he’ll enjoy being dipped in a vat of Technu. Speaking of being in the mood and paying the price Open Wide and Likes To Lick should enjoy matching their blisters when the time cums. A little delayed gratification would have gone a long way. With all that P O Biggus Stickus might have wished he wasn’t quite that big. Eventually the trail led to a beer check at Chez Bigfoot and Gerbil where our hostess was doing a land office business selling not only Technu but the water to wash with. Splat just laughed insisting that the oil would just stay on his fur and he could shave when he got home. The thought of his starting at the ankles and working up boggles the mind. Apparently it boggled Scarlett O’Hairy’s mind as well, when he offered to let her do his back she fainted. At long last the pack returned to the start where the pumpkin patch became its theater of operations. The Sacred Bucket was produced and filled with Mojitos a trendy potion provided by the ever trendy Fits In. It didn’t take Shithead long to reach the stage where even Poison Oak wouldn’t be able to penetrate his Friday hangover. The evil drink turned Udder Moron into an utter idiot but no one seemed to notice the difference. Speaking of utter idiots Tongueless gave an outstanding impression of one as the Gypsies celebrated Gay Porn Night. Assisted by the ever lovely Bigfoot and with King Rongjon Sword Of Power in hand keep the mob at bay Tongueless summoned up his alter ego Cumtha bearer of the All Seeing Eye and giving himself over to a male tail read from a manly missal provided by Just Laura. The sight of the All Seeing Eye moving across the page was more than Just Maeve could handle and she swooned into the waiting arms of Bitches’ Bitch who knew just how to handle the situation. Has he been taking lessons from Chickless Boner the reigning expert in unconscious women? The sight of the All Seeing Eye reduced Meat Pie to gibbering and when last seen No Hands was pouring large cups of punch into her as a countermeasure. McTaco, D’anglin Anglin, and Manhole screamed in fear and began hugging each other. Strangely, the hugging continued long after the All Seeing Eye had been laid to rest. Just John begged Goes Down Easy and Escrowtum to take him home with them as he was afraid to be alone. Their lip licking smiles did not bode well for him. Having lived with Cold Cuts for so long Pied Piper was unfazed and just continued trying to teach Katie to fetch him beer. I R Stupid swears there were two All Seeing Eyes but by then he was seeing two of everything. Eventually he tripped over both Manisex Destinies who were both comatose. Booger Hooker wasn’t far behind him and if he hadn’t been unconscious when he landed on I R some mighty ugly rumors would have been started. Phone Sex arrived late enough to miss the show but not too late to get her entry into the DUI Derby from the Bucket. Those not driven blind or insane by the evening made their way to Pasquale’s to rethink their lives. Oh we love ourselves. Cheers.