Run #493 Terror Strikes the BART

Bigfoot and Beats Me, what a combination belching and beauty, dragged the Gypsies around town last Thursday in celebration of their natal day. The parking lot across from the BART station at Glen Park was the chosen scene of their crime. Just Doesn’t Get It arrived with Napoleon Bonerdog on a leash but Just John noted that the collar was around Just Doesn’t’s neck…oh well, and what’s he called. Speedie Edie a little bit of fluff from somewhere did the honors with the Sacred Missal. Once into the parable she slowed down considerably and savored the moment. Just Briana and Clark Cunt also decided to savor the moment and the pack was treated to a 3D rendition of the Cindi and Emma show. Once Udder Moron was revived, Naked Hasher seemed to enjoy giving mouth to mouth just a little too much; the pack was ready to be on-on. Trail took the pack through the parking lot into yet another parking lot then basically over the river and through the urban woods. The freeway was crossed and recrossed as the pack was circle jerked to ecstasy. Those who persevered were rewarded with Jell-O shots that even Tongueless found palatable. Not that he would have cared what with Beats Me slung over his knee getting her Bday whacks. Fits In declared it was unlikely that he’d ever wash the hand that struck the blows ever again. Shame not being in Beats’ vocabulary she let Whippet In and Whippet Out kiss the sore spot. It was truly splendid to watch Mr. Bone Jangles sit and beg to follow suit. Having made Bill Cosby happy the pack then found itself climbing Bernal Heights and descending to shots of Hurricanes. Two fisting the Hurricanes Open Wide soon became Likes To Lick’s cross to bear. The bimbos of the evening selected this spot so the pack could enjoy going down a set of slides. Pied Piper allowed that he’d prefer going down on the hares but the slide was where he went. Bigfoot was greasing the slide with flour but WD-40 would have been more useful especially when Splat jammed in the middle. Drill Me and Manhole came to the rescue by hitching Bite Size and Otto to the immovable object. Tossing a bit of raw meat, where Drill Me got that from is a good question, in front of the hounds led to Splat being taller, thinner, and free. With less to wedge Just Catherine came screaming down the slide at mach 2 leaving a contrail and most of the bottom of her tights behind (no pun intended). A real animal, Muff Snatcher came down next head first and sniffing all the way. As the pack left Chickless Boner was spotted scraping the slide and giggling to himself. A jaunt down Mission brought some back to the start and one down San Jose produced the rest. The table was set and the Sacred Bucket produced. Fits In, ever concerned for the health of the pack, added fresh limes to the River Madness. The Gypsies may be a scurvy crew but none will suffer from it. While the pack drank its own health and down-downs were being poured the BART police had other ideas. One of their finest screeched to a halt and announced that “15 units are on the way.” D’anglin Anglin feeling the effects of the Bucket decided to chant “Gypsies eat roast pig” in an effort to win friends and influence law officers. Knowing better than to argue with a rent-a-cop the pack lifted the table and D’anglin, grabbed the cooler, and moved en masse off of BART property to the underpass below 280 where they happily continued to get sloshed. As the gear moved thoughts of winning the Pulitzer for covering D’anglin and the rent-a-cop slipped away from Enter The Gerbil so he settled for doing down-downs, not as prestigious but more fun. Thursday was the swan song for Nutless Sac and Just Esther (who apparently has a name that only Bigfoot and Enter The Gerbil know). Choosing to live a life of ease Nutless is following his dream, Just Esther’s money, to Davis. Just Laura called for a reading from the Male Missal to satisfy her lust, not much else is. Just David had his moment in the sun describing things that McTaco may try on Elliot if Eager Beaver is gone too long. The reading took Glory Hole back to his nights in the Royal Navy. By the time he’d finished waxing eloquent Go Nad was set to enlist, ah the power of the Bucket. Saving him from himself Escrowtum and Just Maeve took him by the hand and leading him into the bushes explained just why that wasn’t what he wanted to do. The grin on Go Nad’s face had Jackoff and Manisex Destiny threatening to enlist just to be convinced not to. The on-on-on took place somewhere. Goa fast approaches. Cheers.