Run #507 Pagans Prosper
Last
Thursday was the 10th
Anal Winter Solstice Pagan Fest
of the Gypsies
and it was only fitting that those two paragons of paganism Scarlett
O’Hairy and Rhett
Butthole should be
the hares. Rain pissed down all day Thursday but at 6:15 the Hashing
Gods turned off the spigot as usual not wanting to rain on the parade
of their favorites. True it will rain again someday on a Thursday but
if Thumper
is godly it may not be on his trail. At the hares’ request the pack
gathered in the parking lot of the Sharpe Park Golf Course in
Pacifica. True to her usual high standards Scarlett
gave directions that would take the pack to many places but not the
start so she and Phone
Sex stood in the
street directing Gypsies
to the right place. Both she and Phone
also collected the numbers of several civilians offering cash for a
different kind of directions. The entire evening being devoted to the
rites of paganism the reading from the Sacred
Missal was eschewed
in favor of an early start and a quick return to pagan pleasures. It
didn’t take long for the hares to have the pack wallowing in mud
and praying that the cliffs wouldn’t decide to erode under its
feet. Having left Whippet In and Whippet Out home Tongueless
had only himself to blame for sledding down the muddy slopes. Nutless
Sac, Bigfoot,
Just Brandy,
and Goes Down Easy
took the easy route and were still crisp and fashionable at the end,
cowardice or common sense does have its good points. It was another
night of Just
Doesn’t Get It
losing his bitch and this time it was to a shrub. Napoleon
Bonerdog decided to
go vegetarian on him preferring a bush to her man and leading JDGI
a merry chase through the muck and mire. Drill
Me thinking herself
the wiser kept a firm grip on Bite
Size’s leash but
what seemed like a good idea went awry as Bite
Size turned Drill
Me
into a boogie board. Still terrified from his last experience with
Poison Oak Ben Gay
was moving very slowly as he cringed at every bush making Bone
Marrow stoop to
examine any he suspected of being the noxious weed. Ever bizarre
D’anglin Anglin
was flaunting his so called resistance to PO by flogging his naked
chest with Bone
Marrow’s
discards. Observing D’anglin
Splat wryly
noted that people like him were often given Thorazine. Meanwhile at
the beer check Thumper
was anxiously awaiting the arrival of his missus Latex
Dreams who was busy
avoiding the muck and mire at El Toro Loco and toasting the missing
Thumper.
Dyke Queen
from the BeijingH3 had announced that it was LCB
who made him cum and they were out so long that Rocky
Mountain Oyster
supposed he was doing it again. The trail finally led the pack back
to the start where engines were started and the caravan moved on to
El Toro Loco for eats and drinks. Just
Doesn’t Get It
almost got it for making a u-turn in front of a local law enforcer
but was able to get a pass in exchange for his phone number. He can’t
wait for Officer Poofter to call. Rhett
Butthole underestimating
his and Scarlett’s
popularity had told Huevos
Rancheros
to cook for 12 and more than twice that showed up but he was still
able to produce a seemingly endless line of burritos. Chickless
Boner, had like a
true hasher, completely avoided the trail and arrived for the
cocktail hour. Fits
In and Splat
shared the spotlight with her Death By Eggnog and his hot buttered
rum wreaking wreckage and ruin. It wasn’t long before Open
Wide was feeling
her holiday cheer and Likes
To Lick was forced
to once more pry her off of the cardboard caballero she so adores.
Bigfoot
handled the down-downs with her usual charm only once reducing Go
Nad to tears.
Speaking of tears, having fallen prey to both the nog and the hot
buttered rum Manhole
tearily and blearily announced that he and Otto
were cuming out of the closet and *unning off together. Pied
Piper catching the
fever announced his engagement to Katie,
won’t Cold Cuts be surprised…hmm, maybe not. Just
Catherine hit the
trail late but did the deed and arrived as the evening’s DFL. She
entered as Just
Catherine and left
as 10
Cocks a Day.
Ever the dreamer poor Motor
Mount would have
been happy if she’d just settle for one a day. When last seen he
and Chickless Boner
were comparing pick up lines, cool. Thumper
tried desperately to interest the revelers in singing Hash Carols but
the alcohol left the words on the page a tad unclear. Still the
evening was a hasher’s favorite word FREE. Cheers.