Run #1530 Bah, Fucking, Humbug

The Gypsies’ Winter Solstice Pagan Fest was held at Chez Tongueless and Fits In in Novato on Almond Ct. with, now stop laughing, T as hare. Fits In did the cooking so at least there was some good going to happen. No sooner did T set off to lay the trail than FI started reviewing both his health and life insurance; she has a strong sense of his competence. The pack started to arrive and let themselves in through the back gate where they were greeted by the guardians at the gate Qaeda Cunt and Just Liwan the other refugee hound. Those who passed the sniff test were able to tap the keg of Lagunitas Hazy Wonder. You don’t really want to know what happened to those who didn’t pass the sniff test. Lois Lame was more than a little embarrassed that Bitches Bitch seemed to enjoy the sniff test so much, but BB just insisted the pooches had to be absolutely sure it wasn’t a stick of dynamite in his shorts! Adopt A Pussy arrived and announced he was there to represent Backside Banger who was a pussy for not cuming! It was a small pack gathered in the yard pounding piss from the keg and the scent of Fits In’s killer chili had the pack wondering if they really need to do trail, but T gave them no choice but to head into the night. Most were at the very least giggling that T had laid a trail! The trail took them out to S Novato Blvd. and turned them on to Stone Dr. Prophesizing that T would lay a short trail became self-fulfilling as ONO found incoming trail on Cambridges St and along with AAP, and Dr. Kimble followed it back through the parking lot of St. Anthony’s Church and the shiggy behind it to the start. They weren’t the first back since Just Mark never left. He arrived late looking for Cheese Turd who apparently said he would meet JM at the start and didn’t. Not to worry, JM took up residency on the sofa. While this was going on Just Ted Aka The Other Bastard and Just Fuck Off were showing that they were made of sterner stuff and found true trail. They followed trail up Terry Circle to Arlington Circle and down Denyln St. to Midway Blvd. THEY turned onto Cambridge correctly and didn’t get lost until they were in the shiggy behind St. Anthony’s. Manhole who’d arrived late and set off on trail looking for any pack members he might cum across was disappointed but did manage to stay on true trail, mostly! Off in the distance he did see the spectral images of BB and LL who were following the trail their minds had created…never a good idea! Eventually the pack such as there was regrouped in the yard where the keg had stayed tapped and was now being used. When Just Fuck Off and JTATOB got back THEY were at least sweaty. The pack settled down into maw stuffing mode and worked on the Vitamin J then they were able to troop through the kitchen and fill their bowls with chili or FI’s veg chili and hunks of bread. The pack was able to fight off the cold with hot wine from the Sacred Thermi. Don’t for a moment think that those major food groups, sugar and fat weren’t readily available. Not only had FI gotten oatmeal raisin and chocolate chip cookies but ONO aka the Queen of Butter and Sugar had been making red velvet cupcakes and cookies. ONO is wanted dead or alive by the American Diabetes Association AND the American Dental Association AND the American Heart Association, quite a trifecta! Conscious of their need to play Frogger with the CHP the pack was careful to avoid drinking enough to actually lose consciousness. Growlers were filled and Just Mark kept the pack “enthralled “with a running account of every teenager, college coed, and adult female he had ever even dreamt of having sex with over the course of his life! Apparently, JM knows the sound of “NO” in a huge number of languages including AMSLAN. The pack fled into the night having had a, we hope, good experience. Cheers.