Run #1359 On a Wing and A Prayer
Blow
Queen is set to take his summer sojourn to Sweden so he laid a
trail for the Gypsies last week that would guarantee the pack
would remember him. BQ called the pack together on Wawona St.
and what should be 27th Ave. but of course there is no
such place since Wawona is blocked at 26th Ave and at 28th
Ave. with Parkside Sq. and Bob Cheney Field taking up the area. BQ
wanting to make sure that confusion reigned supreme sent a detailed
set of instructions to assure that as many Gypsies as possible
would be lost. Once again BQ overestimated the level of
intelligence of the average pack member and only using their
half-minds paid attention to only ¼ of the hare’s directions
finding the start with few problems. Of course that doesn’t include
Bitch Pimp who had to be brought in under radio control and
promptly announced that she was “the dumbest member of the pack”,
she was of course proved wrong. Adopt A Pussy announced that
he no longer bothers with GPS and instead has his wife read his Tarot
Cards to find the start. Dick Ass Mother Fucker claimed that
trying to understand the directions gave him a headache so he just
walked to the start. While the pack was gathering they slammed down
pints of the Lagunitas Little Sumpin’ Sumpin’
flowing from the keg. Neighbors stood on their balconies but instead
of decrying the revelers, urged them to have a good evening. One
Night Only took their good cheer as a sure sign that the
apocalypse cannot be far off. ONO missed a real sign of
the apocalypse, Cockulus Oculus actually wearing *unning shoes
and mumbling about doing trail Bitch Pimp in moment of penance
and to reassure herself that she wasn’t as dumb as she claimed
presented the pack with a reading from the Sacred Missal 2.0
that once again extolled the importance of family brought tear to the
eye of those proud patriarchs Udder Moron, Backside Banger
and Who’s Your Daddy. WYD has so many paternity tests
to be proud of that listening to the sermon he fairly glowed. While
the pack had their heads bowed in religious fervor our hare took off
to lay trail. The pack was promised a series of Beer Quests and when
Missed Delivery inquired whether the beer would be warm cheap
piss as usual BQ swore it would be icy cold and costly. Pencil
Dick just mumbled that hares never speak a word of truth. The
pack was off and *unning. Trail led them along Wawona to 21st
Ave where it took them into the depths of Stern Grove. Trails wound
round and round dropping the pack deeper and deeper into the park
eventually trail brought the pack to the lowest level, Pied Piper
felt very natural on the lowest level. Tongue Depressor and
Qaeda Cunt reveled in the undergrowth while Tongueless
and Fits In would have been happy to see few signs announcing
they were in an “Active Coyote Area”. Cream Chugger
watched for eyes glowing the underbrush and when they appeared she
picked Just Lily off the ground rather than have her continue
as a hors de oeuvre on a leash. Trail took the pack past the Stern
Grove Dog Park and all the way around what’s now called Pine Lake
but has always been Laguna Puerca. Trail climbed the hillside and
took the pack as far as Lake Merced before bringing them back and
down into the park past the concert stage and the Trocadero
Clubhouse. 5 Angry Inches was milling around with AAP
and Backside Banger and finally took off to find trail. The
Lost Patrol went around and came back to the start where they
set up bacchanal central in the meadow. Hand Pump had no fear
of being DFL and Jack The Ripper didn’t even come close.
Even 5150 managed to arrive before 5 AI. Cuming
Mutha came in and announced that he had been somewhere and even
seen some trail! Once Bitches Bitch finished bathing Tech-nu
he strolled over to the keg and Sacred Bucket filled with Cuba
Libre. Lois Lame settled right down to wait for growler
time surrounded by all 12 of her growlers. Dr. Kimble brought
a bag full of duck pieces and doled them out to the pack. Tongueless’
Penis decided not to sew Dr. K over the bit of buckshot he
bit into. Tears Of Semen announced that the trail was
brilliant, was in fact a trail for the ages and amazingly well laid.
TOS really earned that ticket to Sweden. Peteophile
and Scarlette O’Hairy donated the world’s largest bag of
peanuts that the pack was ultra enthusiastic about until they
realized the peanuts were unsalted. Scarlette also brought
Phone Sex in under radio control, as Phonie was so
lost. Somehow PS had managed to not look out her car window
and see the pack. That’s okay since PS also managed to not
see Scarlette standing in the middle of the road. There was a
Circle and there was much waving of the Sword Of Power and
much waving and weaving of T thanks to the Bucket. The
keg and Bucket both died bravely. Cheers.
On In!