Run #1362 The Closest the Gypsies Ever Come to Honor!
It
was the 3rd Thursday in May and that means the Palace of
the Legion of Honor parking lot on El Camino Del Mar was the
gathering place for the Gypsies to, as usual, kick off the
Whine and Chowder Society’s anal Bay to Breakers fest. The regular
scum of the Gypsies were joined by the flotsam and jetsam
washed ashore from the trash heaps of Oregon, Boston, and Washington,
the state. Even those habitués of the Burning Man cult of ego were
represented by Rock Cock and Pissy Missy of Black Rock
CityH3. Laugh if you will and you will, but remember that anything
can be called a hash these days, may G forgive them their trespasses.
BostonH3 sent E=I’m A Douche. Cuming Mutha pointed
out that sending a Douche to the Gypsies was like
sending coal to New Castle. Our hare for the evening was none other
than “Saint” Titty Boo Boo who promised to give the pack a
moment of true grace. The Cunt Next Door packing their soon to
pop procreation came along to make sure he lived up to his promises
and maybe to give the pack a real thrill. Rumor has it that
Tongueless sharpened the Sword Of Power just in case
there was an early arrival called for. In keeping with tradition
there were two kegs of Lagunitas in case a second one
was called for. Hand Pump once again generously provided the
use of his jockey box for the evening and it was quickly hitched to
that star, Lagunitas IPA. Normally this location is
great for out-of-towners to have grand views of the Golden Gate and
the bay but tonight the color of choice was grey on grey as the rain
clouds piled on thicker and thicker. Fellowship Of The Cock Ring
from BostonH3 was reminded of Middle Earth and as he prepared for the
quest for flour and chalk. Then the rains came and the clouds emptied
showing what the Hashing Gods thought of the assembled throng. RU
Gay, a blast from the past, poured another pint and shrugged off
the elements, wet on the outside as well as the inside. Ska Skank
Redemption dressed in shark costume was spotted face down in a
puddle trying to make her gills work. Poor Osama Bin Hashing
thought she was wearing a burqa until he saw the air bubbles coming
off the side of her head. For the Oregonians the rain meant nothing
or as Shaft Impact Her, EugeneH3 laughed and said “We’ll
just have a use for our webbed feet!” Speaking of the Oregonians,
Bloody Nipple Triage, EugenehH3, assumed the role of priestess
for the evening and provided a deeply moving religious moment from
the Traveling Missal. Anal Bleaching, PhoenixH3 found
the experience so moving that an extra bleach was going to be called
for. Crapper Napper also PhoenixH3 was caught napping by the
whole thing. Watching the likes of Hold Whorer, SW
WashingtonH3, and assessing level of ability to overtake him “S”TBB
announced that a 20-second head start should cover his needs and fled
into the damp evening. “S”TBB left Tongueless to
provide a chalktalk and Che Gayvara to take the blame for any
problems the pack had on trail. Che Gayvara just blamed the
chalktalk and it was done and dusted. By now the rain had stopped but
a damp Can’t Eat Pussy decided that if he couldn’t eat he
might as well do trail. Marks led the pack to the Battle of the Bulge
trail leading up to the VA Hospital. Tuna On Top leashed to
the mighty, as in mighty little, Just Hercules looked at the
pack and asided that the “battle of the bulge” was a perfect
trail for this pack. Adopt A Pussy was climbing towards the
top and mumbling that AA might not be such a bad idea after all. Fits
In advised him to wait for the Sacred Bucket before he
spouted such apostasy. Dick Ass Mother Fucker shook his head
in awe as Geordie Le Foreskin rolled it back to keep from
tripping and thought seriously about organizing a “Foreskin Off”
with Tongueless’ Penis going, um, head to head with Geordie!
Trail took the pack through the labyrinthine buildings of the VA
complex and eventually out at 42nd Ave. and into the
Richmond. As the chance for PO diminished Bitches Bitch wept
with joy. Lois Lame was also weeping with joy that she
wouldn’t have to put up with BB’s whining about PO. One
Night Only was back from her million mile *un on the Isle of
Wight and mumbling through the damp air that she felt like she was
still there. Trail took the pack back into the woods around Fort
Miley and around the Palace where our hare sent the pack past the
start and back down to the Lands End Trail and it’s Eagle’s Point
overlook where, thanks to the weather, there was nothing to look
over. Trail turned there to bring the pack back to the start and the
alcohol so devoutly wished for. The table was laid with Vitamin J and
the Sacred Bucket filled with River Madness. Horny Hands,
Philly-HockessinH3 found the Sacred Bucket was making those
hands way less horny and that head way harder to hold up. Speaking of
the Sacred Bucket and it’s contents On All 4s
continued her ongoing love affair with River Madness and it’s
ability to turn any glasses rose colored. As the evening progressed
and the keg grew lighter, Tri Crapalete painted and ever
rosier picture of the trail that “S”TBB took to be proof
that he hadn’t done that much of it. Dr. Kimble looked over
the group and knew in his heart of hearts that ERs would be full this
weekend. Cockulus Occulus toasted the pack as the cheapest
entertainment in SF even when the 5-0 don’t show up. Scarlette
O’Hairy, newly employed, pointed out that she has to be in the
office once a week so she chose Thursday giving her an excuse to be
with the Gypsies on her way home. Just Doesn’t Get It
was busy drying his pits and thumping his tummy in a show of
manliness that had Do Her Well turning back to the Bucket
again and again. Speaking of DHW, Tongueless offered
her the Circle and she hemmed and hawed until he tossed in control of
the Sword Of Power when her eyes glowed with a radioactive
fire and she took up the Sword dominating the pack with her
fury. Wielding authority she dispensed down-downs like water and let
the pack sing itself hoarse while covering the entire blade with
emptied cups. Manhole administered the coup to the keg and
Mans Best Hole got all four legs into the driver’s seat of
the Mercedes. BostonH3’s Wikipedophilia scribbled away
preparing a new Wicki page. Another evening well wasted and well
wasted. Cheers.