Run #1369 A 69 on the 4th is Fine!
Never
ones to pass up the chance to throw a party Peteophile and
Scarlette O’Hairy did just that for the Gypsies on
July 4th and threw in a trail to boot! You might say it
was a salute to the red, white, and blew! The party hardy pair tossed
their home in San Anselmo or San Rafael, take your pick, open wide
and the denizens of debauchery took them up on the offer. The Outbeer
carrying a keg of Lagunitas Little Sumpin Sumpin was
basically carrying “coal to Newcastle” as the fridge in P
and SOH’s garage holds a supply of every beer known to man
and the rest of the house is a wine rack waiting to be cracked. Just
Travis made sure that no champers was drunk before it’s time
but it’s time turned out to be all the time. Just Hannah the
offspring of Peteophile and a prior error in judgment proved
beyond the shadow a doubt that Rosè goes with anything including
guacamole. Just Travis who has staked out a role the reader of
the sermon par excellence at the trails of the dynamic duo had to
drown his sadness in mimosas as LCB, a returning hasher,
preached a meaningful sermon that was less meaningful to Just Poco
and Just Goggles his pooches. Apparently the four legged
Justs, Archie of Pencil Dick’s family, Just
Francis and Just GG of Early To Bed and Blowing
Zydeco have never learned that “put your log in a dog boys”
is hashing old hat. Pencil Dick claims it’s the memsahib who
wants to keep Just Archie safe for the grandkids and yet she
took him on the death march Peteophile had laid on his, ahem,
electric bike. The pack was still laughing and smiling as they set
off, little did they suspect. The Cunt Next Door was all set
to do trail with Just Rosalie strapped to her chest. Just
Rosalie in true Gypsies’ fashion preferred snoozing to
tromping putting the kibosh on TCND’s good intentions.
“Saint” Titty Boo Boo set off to uphold the family
honor and try to set off some fireworks of his own. Pied Piper
was there long enough to drink the available alcohol but when it came
to doing trail he realized he was in a valley with nowhere to go but
up and off he went to cook his own family barbque. Trail had plenty
of ups and down but more ups, easy to set when you’re on an ebike.
Trail was well marked, sadly no excuses, and took the pack on a tour
of the neighborhood. As Tongueless, Fits In and King
Rongjon were heading down the mean streets Hand Pump
pulled up leapt out of his car and shuffled off on trail hoping to
make this one blood free. Speaking of the Lost Patrol they
were actually on trail until trail became trail and then the Cemetery
Fire Road. The name alone was a smidge too ominous in it’s own
right. Coming off the hill they made their way back to the United
Market where King RJ purchased a 22 ouncer of Stone Brewing
Arrogant Bastard, a beer he insists was named after T, who btw
he got to pay for it. Meanwhile on the hill “S”TBB was
seeking reassurance from the king of Poison Oak himself, Bitches
Bitch that there was no PO. Oddly enough he was concerned that
should he somehow spread PO to Just Rosalie, TCND would
make his death swift but painful. Eventually the trail did descend
and the pack was back in the yard with Cuming Mutha looking as
though he’d gone in the hot tub with his shirt on, can you say
sweaty fucking trail! Peteophile took up his grilling gear and
set himself to sweating over the hot grill producing enough
hamburgers and hot dogs to feed the city of San Rafael. Meanwhile
Scarlette had laid a table of salads and cookies, Scarlette
never forgets the importance of a sugar rush, along with fruit etc.
The garage held the Vitamin J. King Rongjon was lying half
naked on a chaise broiling in the sun and One Night Only was
thanking the Hash Gods that he wasn’t full monty. Goes Down Easy
came across a color palette and soon those lovers of gambling were
betting on which shade of red the King would eventually turn.
The Sword Of Power was produced and the King convened
the Circle where down-downs consisted of Fits In’s minted
Mai-Tais from the Sacred Bucket, as if any more alcohol was
called for. The King described the trail as, “long and hard, much
like my penis” when a voice from on high wafted over him, but not
as long or hard as Tongueless’ Penis. Happily On All 4s
had her hiking poles so the King was able to maintain an
upright position AND he managed to not cut off any appendages of the
evildoers or put a pole through any feet. Lois Lame, obsessed
with naming any and all humans was desperate to provide a name for
Just Rosalie but the pack was, hard to believe, just not drunk
enough. The Gypsies’ 4th gave whole new meaning
to “Birth of a Nation”. Cheers.