Run #1580 I Didn’t Even Get a Crappy TShirt!

December found the Gypsies playing tourist under the tutelage of Chickenboner. The Little Queen brought the pack together at Aquatic Park at the foot of Van Ness Ave. The Outbeer was ushered into a space saved by Pied Piper who used his body to bar other potential parkers. PP announced he acted because what good would his life be without beer! There was a murmur of agreement from the pack. The hatch of the Outbeer was lifted and a Sacred Cooler filled to the brim with Lagunitas Born Yesterday in bottles was suddenly filled with grasping hands. Passersby looked on in the usual disgust as the greedy likes of Wash This Asshole, Who’s Your Daddy and E=McFucked slapped each other’s hands away like a demented Gypsies’ version of the Three Stooges! In order to restore order 5150 was called forth to lead the pack in a religious moment. Wet And Sloppy pointed out that 5150 actually being there at the start of trail was religious experience enough! 5150 was moved, but he felt a deep need to provide the pack with more than his haloed presence so he took up the “illustrated” biblical work he’d provided the pack and intoned a most meaningful message about “love!” With the pack feeling cleansed our hare sent them off to get dirty all over again! Trail took the pack through Ghirardelli Square where the sight of all that ice cream being eaten forced Fits In to keep smacking Tongueless on the head as he licked the windows. Trail turned on Larkin St. and took the pack up  the Larkin St. Steps before it zipped the pack through Francisco Park with Manhole enthralled by the pooches in the dog park area. As trail turned off of Bay Street onto Columbus Ave. Just Fuck Off pointed to Bimbo’s 365 Club and wondered which of the Gypsies’ bimbos it was named after! Exaggerated Crack claims Pastel Gazelle bit his tongue so hard it bled! Trail passed Joe DiMaggio Playground, site of the famous Ultraman rolling downhill after reaching for even more Black Russian from the Sacred Bucket while facing downhill incident! Trail went through Washington Sq. Park with its view of Saints Peter and Paul Church. Trail headed back along Stockton St. and hit the Embarcadero at Pier 39. The pack headed down Fisherman’s Wharf where it was treated to an endless area of shops selling every type of San Francisco memorabilia imaginable. Twinkle Dick was mumbling that he wished he’d brought a credit card. Then there was TriCrapalete holding his nose and declaring that he could smell the crap they were selling. As she *an past the endless array of candy stores promising a sugar high Choke Me Daddy declared she felt she needed insulin just to go down the street. Blow Queen was his usual flash just going by but somehow the The Buena Vista called his name offering an Irish Coffee and his feet just turned in on their own. Dr. Kimble saw no reason to spend more than the $5 he’d already paid to the Gypsies, so he continued along the beach. Eventually all the lost sheep returned to Chickenboner’s fold and the sidewalk was occupied by the Sacred Cooler and the Cloak Of Invisibility laden with Vitamin J for the pack to forage through and Sacred Thermi filled with hot chocolate to be mixed with the Irish Cream, brandy and Kahlua brought by Fits In. Yank Me Daddy was thrilled to keep his nose to the ground in case there was any droppage. Tears Of Semen ALMOST forgot to add alcohol to to her hot chocolate but an eagle-eyed Hand Pump saved her from terminal embarrassment. T took up the Sword Of Power and as terrified civilians fled, convened the Circle and administered a few down-downs. The pack was encouraged to growlerize the Sacred Cooler, but some bottles made it back alive. Cheers.