Who’s Your Daddy picks up the microphone and taps it.
“Okay, well. Is this on? It is?” The microphone screeches. “Jesus. I mean, I guess that’s appropriate for today. Haha. Anyway. Here’s a little number for a very special person in my life. You know who you are. But if you don’t, it’s Five Angry Inches, the best cohare that money could buy.”
The familiar beat of Call Me Maybe starts up. Hashers flee the room.
I threw the flour so well
Mouth Down South couldn’t tell
Cockamole called as it fell
John Handcock found my way
Tuna on Top made a wish
Little Sissy Pants took a piss
Paki-sack commuted for this
But Dickweed lost the way
Your stare was holding
Ripped jeans
Five Angry Inches showing
Hashmas night
Trail was blowing
Where you think you're going baby?
Hey I just met you
And this is crazy
But here's some flour
So cohare maybe?
It's hard to find you on trail baby
Shit—it’s Gobble My Ass---
So call me maybe?
And Dual Tools is gonna
Try to chase me
But there’s Anal Fulcum!
So call me maybe?
The Perfect Woman is tall
Wee Wee pinched cheeks in the fall
Brown Eye gave down downs to all
Shanghiney came to the bay
Today Is Monday doesn’t feel
That the Turkey was real
I didn't know I would deal it
But it's just my way
The van keys Do Her Well’s holding
Millimeter Peter
Post beer check, was showing
Mary Tyler Whore
Knew our trail was blowing
Where you think you're going baby?
Before Just Doesn’t Get It came into my life
I missed you so bad
I missed you so bad
I missed you so, so bad
Before Just Doesn’t Get It came into my life
I missed you so bad
Do Her Well knows that
I missed you so so bad, bad, bad, bad....
It's hard to set trail with you baby
But here's my number
So cohare maybe?