After two pandemic years of being shut the fuck down Chickenboner the Gypsies’ own Little Queen had had enough! CB cornered Tongueless and hitting him upside the head told him in no uncertain terms that it was time for the Little Black Dress *un to come back in all its glory and SHE would handle the details. Even T knows better than to argue with a force of nature, so it was all bowing scraping and yes, ma’ming the Queen. Once again, the last Thursday in March would see the Gypsies flaunting their gorgeousness in the likes of the Top of the Mark and the Tonga Room. CB gathered her minions at the Hell Mouth aka Front and Union; passersby thought they were at a fashion show and applauded Ska Skank Redemption who looked like she was trying to find Downton Abbey or auditioning for the Gilded Age. On the other hand, she was at least warm. Douche Of Hazard and A Fist Full Of Cum were there to celebrate their 10^th Anniversary. T officiated at their wedding on this very trail lo those many years ago. Fisty was hoping all those goose bumps would keep him warm. Douche held a bouquet of flowers and actually made a few bucks as she sold them on trail like a character out of Dickens. They were able to find a babysitter for Cum Trophy and Another Spot of Cum so they were able to drink the night away! As the pack gathered they held high the bottles and cans of an assortment of Lagunitas that included Little Sumpin Sumpin and Hazy Wonder from the Sacred Cooler. What, no keg you ask? No worries the pack was going to be so wasted that a keg would be wasted. The pack posed for the usual photo op and then Who’s Your Daddy as CB’s surrogate sent them off in search of marks. Fits In had been put in charge of the Lost Patrol and had a map of sorts that provided nothing but a reason for the likes of Ice Box and Hot Dick to make snide comments.  Except for the fact that the pack knew exactly where they were going this might have been a problem but happily, they saved their breath for the steep uphill to the Mark Hopkins and the Top of the Mark. The pandemic has made the Top greedy enough to accept the Gypsies and not give them shite over a cover or tell Ice Box that “LADIES do not wear hats in the Mark”. Now it was “You want how many expensive drinks, yes ma’am”. Service was still crap so the LP hied themselves to the Tonga Room where the drinks came with umbrellas and the Gypsies were the show. Not that the other patrons were toasted but Blow Queen was kept busy signing autographs for all the people who thought he was Sinead O’Connor. Who knew that Stinky Floss was into botany but that was her claim when ABBAA found her lying in the bushes, apparently the Top had put her on her bottom. The Tonga Room music started and the Gypsies confiscated the dance floor with Senior Weiner and Sir Menage-A-Lot tripping the light fantastic while looking fantastic in their sparkly frocks. Twinkle Dick looked lovely holding that pineapple full of rum even when his head sank to the bar he spilled not a drop! CB was a regular Mother Carey overseeing her chicks making sure that Missed Delivery made his delivery in the Men’s Room, she could get a job at Amazon any time. Hot Dick in his beret was tres chic posing with Ice Box in her pillbox hat jauntily tipped to the side. By the time it was hare’s away the pack could still remain upright, well, most of them and those were off to the Bamboo Hut and Volcano Bowls! T looking like a blonde dowager who’s seen better days was tossing back a Dark and Stormy and FI was hoping she wouldn’t be tossing him over her shoulder. Choke Your Daddy was tossing them back with uncle Who’s Your Daddy while Exaggerated Crack was paying an odd amount of attention to a smudge on the bar. As the pack tossed money to the bartender and he tossed back drinks the room took on the look of a crime scene waiting to happen. It was a near run thing as CSI doused that volcano that 5150 was waving around, the last thing needed was a human torch. The clock was ticking away as the pack in its usual dribs and drabs staggered back to the start to continue…drinking. The Cloak Of Invisibility was deployed and covered with the usual Vitamin J along with chicken wings, Thin Mints, Pita Chips and guacamole courtesy of our hare. Just Fuck Off and Just Ted AKA The Other Bastard did an amazing job propping up the building they leaned against! Had they moved either they or the building would have collapsed! Manhole was all for taking bets! Speaking of Manhole, his dress looked as though it had been shedding. Lois Lame decided that the Sacred Thermi full of hot toddy was the go-to spot for getting past the cold! Bitches Bitch was flaunting a lot of leg that was almost as free of hair as his head! T took up the Sword Of Power and weaved a Circle. His weaving was so pronounced that Tears Of Semen staged a coup ending up waving the Sword and dispensing down-downs with glee! As usual the Hell Mouth lived up to its legend and the pack partied on long into the night with no officials stopping by to, um, say hello! It was great to be back in black and our hare did a grand job making that happen. Cheers