GPH3 Run #1516: If She Doesn’t Give You a Boner, You’re Dead!
: 09/15/2022
: Golden Gate Park at the Stowe Lake Boathouse
: Chickenboner
: Tongueless

Run #1516 Paddle Yer Own Canoe! 

Chickenboner welcomed the ides of September by setting a trail for the Gypsies from the Stow Lake Boathouse in Golden Gate Park. The weather was great and when the Outbeer arrived it was waved into a parking space by Pied Piper and Who’s Your Daddy who were acting as parking monitors. Poor Dr. Kimble was told the space he’d wanted was “Beer Space” so move it along! The Outbeer proudly produced the keg of Lagunitas Hazy Wonder and it was a wonder that the car survived the mob! Dr. K was mollified when he realized there was a whole bag of peanuts for him to stuff into his gaping maw; not all at once mind you but he was ready to try. Backside Banger, a tear in his eye, vowed that he would drink enough to make Adopt A Pussy proud since he was sidelined living in a charnel house. While the pack had the usual affect on the casual civilians strolling by, one wonders what Closet Twitcher did that caused the Men’s Toilet to empty with such speed! CT insists that he was just being himself leading Wash This Asshole to have an “ah ha” moment! Apparently, it does “take one to know one!” Chickless Boner provided the pack with less a religious experience than an opening statement! Do Her Well and Just Doesn’t Get It voted on the spot to acquit whoever CB was defending! The rest of the jury wanted more deliberation! Chickenboner ruled that the pack should deliberate, or not, on trail and having left a chalktalk for WYD’s dulcet tones took off to lay some bit of trail she’d not done. WYD, him with the dulcet tones sent the pack off in the general direction he thought the hare had intended! Trail took the pack down Stow Lake Dr. E. to the bridge across the lake to Strawberry Hill. No one was foolish enough to climb to the top of Strawberry Hill since there is nowhere else to go but down. Now in truth for Cuming Mutha not climbing the hill was a hard-fought moral battle, he probably expended as much energy deliberating as he would had he climbed the hill! On All 4’s gave Tongueless some props for not having any morals that might become embattled. Circling the hill the pack did have to do some careful stepping to get past the waterfall and ankle breaking rocks before it crossed the bridge on the other side and crossed Stow Lake Dr. Trail took the pack through Mother’s Meadow and Playground with its Public Toilets. Tricrapalete assumed this portion of the trail was our hare’s homage to WYD and his Public Toilet fetish. Trail dashed around Elk Glenn Lake and up Transverse Dr. to cross Crossover Dr. and climb up to the backside of the parking area. The keg was retrieved and set under a picnic table while the table was covered with Vitamin J and a coffee cake from Pied Piper who also took out the Sacred Grill and madly grilled venison burgers while the likes Cheese Turd drooled. Fits In provided Sacred Thermi filled with hot cocoa and bottles or Irish Crème, Kahlua, and brandy to add to it. Remember the Gypsies is an alcohol-based hash! Hand Pump wept copious tears when he realized that even with all his wandering aimlessly in search of trail all had gone for naught and he wasn’t to be the DFL. A combination of the beverages and venison revived his flagging sprits. Seeing his state Just Fuck Off offered him a special introductory rate for counseling but like any true hasher that the world “FREE” wasn’t heard early and often was a dealbreaker. The prized title of DFL went to Manhole who wandered in long after the rest of the pack assumed his body would be found at some point by Park gardeners. No one would dare to say that Just Ted AKA The Other Bastard was in his cups but video shot by Chickless Boner of him sitting on the ground discussing Jean-Paul Sartre and existential philosophy with those raccoons might raise some questions. Claiming that he thought the raccoon was Just Julie really doesn’t cut it. A fine evening filled with a good trail, plenty of piss and other alcohol and Pied Piper’s venison was had by all who remember it. Cheers.