Run #433 If It’s Good Enough For Rongjon It’s Good Enough For Me!

Having wasted innumerable hours of drinking time on march or die trails King Rongjon gave the pack a taste of the old time religion of the Gypsies with trail that was lean, not very mean, and left plenty of time for serious liver damage. Eschewing cleverness in favor of alcohol consumption the King set his mind to working and somewhere between his seventeenth and eighteenth pint came up with a trail that even T/BC could love. By Kingly fiat he gathered the pack at the Equestrian Field parking lot in Golden Gate Park. Cringing in awe of his majesty and desiring to win the King’s favor Sucks Donnie Osmond sacrificed not one but two virgins to the pack’s insatiable appetite. Sisters Katie and Sarah were offered up as potential priestesses. Before a word was spoken by either of these tender morsels the likes of Snakeless and Fucking Pesto Chicken were licking their chops and drooling as only eternal dreamers can. Pesto calmed down when ClapTrap pointed out to that his condoms were older than the wenches were and Snakeless wept when he realized there was no Viagra in his car. Succulent Sarah was chosen to read from the Sacred Missal, in between giggles she provided the pack with the parable of the sodden furrow. Truly in a state of grace the pack was on-on. The pack was soon out of the park and headed south. While the rest of the pack ran towards the horizon Bitch In Heat fell to the ground and convulsing horribly began to speak in the King’s own voice. It could have been the alignment of the planets or perhaps solar storms somehow he had achieved a mind meld with King Rongjon. Twitching and foaming Bitch In Heat began shouting directions, Fits In whipped out a pen and writing on her thighs took them down in shorthand. Once our medium had collapsed in a faint it was short work to decipher the code and using the knowledge become FRBs. The mini pack of Fits In, T/BC, and Barbie Boxx quickly lashed the limp body of Bitch In Heat to Whippet In and Whippet Out and with the body pounding down the pavement were off to the beer check. The beer check was at the King’s own palace where he provided Buttwiper for those thirsty enough to drink the bathtub ring of beers. Pied Piper, once again using Zack and his dog as an excuse to leave the cell, was sitting on the steps while Zack served him beer. Some people have a child for posterity Piper had one to solve the servant problem. Roadkill angered that Barbie had beaten him to the beer check chose not to punish her since she was kneeling and holding a cold one out to her liege. Once the King’s beer had been drunk the pack was on back to the start. The pack once again together the Sacred Bucket was produced and filled with Skippy Goes Nakeds and the weekly drunkfest was declared begun. Chickless Boner was soon in his bathrobe and sending women into paroxysms of laughter by trying to pick them up. Dick Chick suggested that he just stick with necrophilia to preserve his ego. Nutless Sac ever the people person took pity on him and pouring Chickless a stiff one gave him a few tips on dealing with women who are still breathing. Just Bob was there again and once more had *un a trail that exists only in his own mind. Rumor has it that the Smithsonian has put in a bid on his brain when he no longer needs it. Rumor also has it that D’anglin Anglin has offered them a “two-fer”. Dickless Namehole was in the dumps having found out that his hip problem means never achieving his dream of becoming an instructor at the Fred Astaire Dance Studio. Mamasan Bigfoot allowed him to weep on her breast, which seemed to take some of the sting out of his danceless future. The stadium seating was erected and the gallery was soon screaming for Enter The Gerbil to begin the circus. Donning his Fool’s Cap Gerbil called the circle to order and sluiced away sins with down-downs of Skippy and Boones Farm Strawberry Daquiri (an alcoholic beverage). Many a sinner was saved by the proper application of a Boones Farm penance. Just John who planned to leave early feigning sleep was so revived that the crowd acclaimed him Dick Van Wrinkle and the King brought him into the Order of the Sleepless Knights. Sword Of Power in hand King Rongjon barely nicked him and Just Carolyn’s practiced eye guaranteed that what was left of his ear would heal in a month at the most. Open Wide still seating for Mr. Tooth Decay was busily prying open the mouths of the fallen. Twinkle Dick fainted when he came out of his Skippy stupor to find OW sliding a mirror into his mouth. I R Stupid volunteered to assist her but when he opened his mouth the noxious fumes killed a canary six blocks away and left Scarlett O’Hairy in a swoon. Captain Titanic visiting from the Mt. VernonH3 immediately ripped her shirt off and began what he called heart massage. Wankers Island drew the line when Captain T suggested that Scarlett’s shorts be removed to allow her to breathe. Throbbing Vessel, the Gypsies’ answer to Jimmy Swiggart, crying out in concern for her immortal soul offered to carry the, by now, scantily clad Scarlett into the bushes and prey over her. Staggering under the weight he stumbled into the thicket that LCB and Liquor Up had chosen for some healing of their own. Manhole used the commotion to cherry pick the cooler and snag as many of the Red Tails as he could. Likes To Lick caught him in the act but Manhole was able to buy his silence with two Tails. We always knew LTL was easy but now we find out he’s cheap as well. The insanity continued at Ladda Thai. Pray for the Gypsies they need it. Cheers.