Run #455 Badger Gets Bitch
Slapped
The
animals were out last Thursday night as the sows’ ears of hashing
took to the streets in celebration of the Winter Solstice. Enter
The Gerbil convened
the randy revelers at the Forest Hills Muni Station on Laguna Honda.
Assuming the high ground behind the station and sending shivers of
terror through those civilians going to or from the station foolish
enough to pass through the pack the Gypsies
prepared to seize the night. Pagan passions were stirred by Just
Alain a Frog friend
of McTaco’s.
A chef in real life he tried to get the Gypsy
bimbos cooking but failed to bring them to a boil. Ripping the Sacred
Missal from his
hands Open Wide
showed him the way and soon had the male members salivating and at
least Just Hans’
male member rising to the occasion. Feeling their pagan oats the pack
was off. Speaking of oats this was another of ETG’s
oatmeal trails some think he may be taking biodegradable to seriously
on the other hand the trail was so long that Likker
Crotchy was eating
it to survive by the end. He’d foolishly followed Thumper
who by trail’s end had given up all hope of ever seeing home and
hearth again. The only thing that saved most of the lost souls was
ETG’s
vanity. Were the Bard alive today he’d be writing “vanity thy
name is Gerbil.”
So enamored with his trail laying skills ETG
dragged the hapless and still phlegm flinging Tongueless
on an under the radar spy mission to see just how hapless the hapless
pack was. The joy he took watching Glory
Hole try to
convince Beats Me
to shake the bushes with him since there was no hope of surviving was
positively obscene. Lucky for Glory
Hole’s ego that
he had no idea he was being watched. While the rest of the headless
chickens were *unning hither and yon Shithead
and D’anglin
Anglin were
exploring the darker regions of Laguna Honda Hospital on ETG’s
from here to eternity back check. Had they the spent more time alone
the boys would be the subject of some salacious rumors. As it is
Comes
Slowly
has some concerns but only mentions them when the red wine reaches a
certain level in her blood stream. It was Gerbil’s
vanity that finally saved the pack from extinction. Unable to control
his desire to rub their collective noses in the dirt he waited till
they were together wandering around in search of trail and kindly
pointed out to them where they’d gone wrong. The tears of joy shed
by Rhett Butthole
were money in the bank to our hare. Dick
So Soft by now
suffering from alcohol withdrawal became suicidal when he found out
that our hare was only there to set the pack straight and not to
provide it a beer check. One can only wonder why Lois
Lame was so quick
to volunteer to administer the coup de grace if he failed in his
attempt. With the hare’s cryptic clues the pack was able to find
trail and continue on its grail quest for the Sacred
Bucket. Unbeknownst
to the rest of the pack Drill
Me and Badger
were having an adventure of their own. Badger
whose favorite refrain is “I am bitch here me growl” gave the paw
to the wrong pooch. There she was being her usual warm fuzzy self
looking for a Doberman to dine on when a Rottweiler decided that she
looked pretty tasty herself. Badger
gave him a kiss my ass growl and he was over the fence and chomping
away. Lucky for Badger that Drill
Me was on top of
the situation. Not only did she free Badger
but she saved the Rottweiler’s owners the cost of neutering him.
Meanwhile back at the start our hare was busy trying to convince the
pack not to lynch him for not having more beer handy. The poor devils
were instructed to take a beer if one was left and head over to Chez
Bigfoot
and Gerbils
for eating, drinking, and making marry. Upon their arrival the pack
found Bigfoot
and Fits In
had prepared not only the Sacred
Bucket filled with
eggnog and rum but hot cider as well. While the rummies were getting
even rummier they produced a dinner of Thai salad and Thai spicy
chicken with basmati rice and all for a hasher’s favorite price
FREE. How sad that I
R Stupid had to say
how glad he was to find they’d finally quit their bitchin’ and
gone back to the kitchen. Once Likes
To Lick pulled them
off of him Scrotum
was able to revive I
R with CPR.
Chickless Boner
in his never ending struggle to curry favor with the ladies promised
to handle their defense should I
R live to sue.
Without Just Bob to look after Twinkle
Dick volunteered to
keep the cold compresses on I
R’s head and
change the bandages when they got too bloody. While dinner was
cooking Gerbil
handed out the Gypsy
Holiday Songbook
and the Gypsy
Tabernacle Choir
was soon mangling carols old and new. Nutless
Sac fresh from his
excursion into the Hooker World (spell that Amsterdam) was in fine
voice and high spirits especially since finding out the blood test
came back negative. In a truly moving ceremony ETG
passed the Fool’s
Cap back to King
Rongjon saying that
“a year is long enough for anybody to be a Fool.” King
Rongjon of course
disputed this and pointed to his own career as proof. Koko
visiting from Tokyo said that as far as she could tell the entire
room was filled with proof of RJ’s
position. Speaking of the King
it was frightening to think he’d actually been cloned as many did
when they saw Little
John’s Son
from the EastbayH3. Thinking they’d actually seen a clone of King
Rongjon was enough
to send Whisker
Biscuit to AA and
Scarlett O’Hairy
to church. While all this was going on Tongueless was trying to
recruit Manhandler,
Semen Monster,
and Gored
Bush
to star in his and Nutless’ proposed porn flick Gypsy Jiz to begin
shooting soon at an unnamed location. Sadly Badger
was more interested than they were. As the alcohol flowed the Gypsies
welcomed Winter. Cheers.