Run # 457 Blinded by the Light

Desiring to start the New Year in a proper manner good King Rongjon took it upon himself to set the first trail of the year. Armed with a bag of anthrax and some sheetrock our liege lord worked up a sweat in the name of his vassals’ pleasure. Gathering his minions in the parking lot of the Palace of the Legion of Honor King Rongjon bade them make merry. Scarlett O’Hairy always thinking of the good of the pack supplied a tender bit of meat named Janelle for the pack’s pleasure. Not to be outdone Thumper upped the ante with a brace of bimbos Clare and Elisa. To bad Thumper, Scarlett clearly won this round. Proudly announcing to the pack that “Janelle is a performer” Scarlett stepped aside and let her protégé put on a show. Feigning a nonexistent shyness; “Oh I can’t read in public. I’m too nervous, it would make me puke” our very low priestess for the evening took the Sacred Missal in hand and seating herself on the tarmac set the air a sizzle with a monologue on wet panties that left Dickless Namehole faint and had Almond Joy giving the monkey a few extra spanks. Even Rainman found himself wet from the inside out. Naked Hasher found it necessary to slap a piece of duct tape over the hole he’d just pronged in his tights. Happily it was a very small hole not that any of the bimbos who watched it happen thought so. Gored Bush was busy telling Daniella that she thought his pinkie had popped through to which Daniella shook her head sadly and noted that it wasn’t very good advertising for Naked. The air was thick with pheromones by the time the pack set out on trail. The King’s trail took the pack along the cliffs along the coast. The night was as dark as Chickless Boner’s sexual fantasies. Relying on the darkness Bone Marrow and Ben Gay took the opportunity for a quickie below the trail and were surprised to be caught in the glare of the headlamps that are becoming ubiquitous. Whippet Out mistaking Ben’s bare butt for a bunny took Tongueless on a wild ride. Hearing the howls of his bestest bud sent Whippet In into a frenzy that found its outlet in dragging Fits In into the fray. The insanity was increased by the appearance of Drill Me who was suddenly airborne as Bite Size decided to join in the chase at top speed. Happily Ben Gay is fleet of foot and able to climb trees like a monkey as those who saw him do it can attest. It took Tits 4 Hire’s promise to provide him a private showing of her moneymaking mammaries to get him back to ground level. Hearing her promise sent LCB and Rhett Butthole in search of anything taller than they are to scramble atop. Just Doesn’t Get It was busy asking Twinkle Dick what happened proving that he really does deserve his name. The way Twink was eyeing him it was clear that Just Doesn’t Get It may be a replacement for Crazy Bob. Once the dog show was over the pack was on in and definitely ready for some serious alcoholic enhancement. A reprise of Fits In’s famous Bloody Marys filled the Sacred Bucket. Sadly there was no Spontaneous Combustion available since Enter The Gerbil had cleverly concealed it in the fridge after the New Year’s Hangover Hash and couldn’t remember where. Bigfoot is seriously considering getting him a brain cell upgrade for his birthday. Lois Lame once again exhibited her addiction to BMs and it wasn’t long before she was again conversing with her crotch but this time it was answering her. The really scary thing was having Phone Sex, Handjob For Humanity, and Dick Chick involve themselves in the conversation and asking LL’s little friend for advise about men. What’s next Tarot Twats? Snatching, no pun intended, up the Sword Of Power the King dispensed down-downs in a rather pointed manner. Fearing bloodshed Likes To Lick, at great personal risk, belled the cat or at least corked the point probably preventing the King from the need to put forth a manslaughter defense. The Sacred Bucket was doing a fine job of man and woman slaughter on its own. Bag Lady was once again ministering to a swollen headed Dr. Kimble and lamenting that Bloodys only swelled one of his heads. Shaggy Dog was saluted and sent off with a d-d to establish a hash in Niger where he’s headed for the Piece Corp. SCAF and Just Hans were so toasted that when they darted into the bushes for a quick whiz they needed to stand back to back to stay upright imagine their damp surprise when they realized they were head to head. Unnamed Gypsy raiders produced the Surf CityH3 banner and the MinneapolisH3 drinking vessel hashnapped at the Monterey New Year’s Eve Hash Party. Ransom photos were taken and Open Wide was alcoholed into volunteering to act as go between during the ransom negotiations. All this was swept away when the King brought our evening’s reader up for a d-d and Janelle flashed a bouncy brace that brought down the house. D’anglin Anglin swears that if her nips were any puffier they’d have pierced his eyeballs. Maybe next time he won’t stand as close, nah. Shithead was oblivious to all this as he was busy trying to convince Lois’ crotch that it’s wrong about men. Alcohol and eats were taken at Greco Romano. Star light, star bright, first tits we see tonight, we wish we may we wish we might, cop a feel it it’s alright. Cheers.