Run #458 For Want of a Check….

Like a character out of Dostoevsky LCB was once again suffering the long dark night of the soul or at least the long dark night of Golden Gate Park. Having called the pack to order at the Boathouse at Stow Lake he now found himself praying for their safe return. It all started with a spirited religious experience provided by newboot Just Daniel. Clearly he relished the reading of the Sacred Missal, relished it perhaps a tad too much. Thumper was forced to pry it from his clenched and sweaty fist so the *un could start. The pack found itself facing a check at Strawberry Hill and while the majority of headless chickens thundered up the stairs leading to nowhere the true cognoscenti set off around the hill safe in the knowledge that what goes up must cum down. Sadly even the true cognoscenti didn’t solve the check. In yet another stunning example of terminal laziness the pack failed to check in the one direction the trail actually went. Trail was eventually found but it was the on-in rather than the on-out. Like lost sheep in need of a Border Collie the pack fell apart and roving bands *an whatever portion of the trail they chose. Shithead, Fits In, Tongueless, and Drill Me spent their time trading leads as each at various times found the missing link that kept them together. D’anglin Anglin, the Gypsies’ own missing link was once again off in his own world. Trail crossed 7^th Ave. and the ball diamond to pass along a fence line where an arrow guided the pack toward a drop into the darkness. Bite Size stealing a page from Whippet Out’s book turned Drill Me into a luge and sailed her down the slope on her ass. Having been in the same position many times the sound of her banging and thumping down the slope combined with her cries “ouch, ow, shit” were music to Tongueless’ ears. While Bite Size, Whippet In, and Whippet Out stood around giving each other high fives Shithead, ever the gentleman, stood over the body mumbling “she better be able to walk ‘cause I’m not carrying her.” Fits In’s patented slap across the face and “ Stand up and die like a Gypsy” quickly revived her. Finally making their way to the De Young Museum the intrepid band found Dr. Kimble and Bag Lady wandering the streets in search of trail. A scene worthy of the Abbot and Costello ensued before Dr. K and BL were once again on course. Eventually the lost were found and the pack resurfaced in its entirety back at the start. Some apparently were more lost than others as Dick Chick surfaced from her sojourn to the Boathouse at Lake Merced. One wonders how long she spent at the other boathouse at the other lake before she realized the folly of her ways. Imagine her embarrassment when she found out that Dickless Namehole, who needs a guide dog, map, and compass to find his way to the bathroom, had no trouble finding the correct boathouse. All this was forgotten when the Sacred Bucket was produced and filled with Mai-Tais. In no time at all Chickless Boner was sitting on the tarmac doing a Lois and talking to his crotch but unlike Lois he wasn’t getting any answers. How sad to have had his own dick turn against him. Bigfoot was announcing her upcuming surgery and passing out an individualized list of chores for each of the pack present. Included was a list of gifts suitable for her welcome home from the hospital shower that she assigned several of pack to conduct. Suddenly seized by the realization of just how sick a group he’d found himself in Just Daniel announced that he had to leave to “go dancing with a friend.” pointing out how lame an excuse that was Enter The Gerbil shoved a down-down into his fist and brow beat him for the real story. Thumper was soon flashing away with his new digital. Rumor has it that the camera has now been paid for out of the proceeds he received for deleting those pictures of Dick Chick and Muff Snatcher behind the boathouse. Of course that’s only a rumor. King Rongjon was busy wielding the Sword Of Power striking fear into those sober enough to feel it. Phone Sex definitely did not fit into that category. With each Mai-Tai she consumed she floated higher and higher above the fray. Handjob For Humanity announced her New Year’s resolution was to actually pay for her drinks which sent SCAF into a swoon. Twinkle Dick was his usual sober self as Pied Piper tied him to his bicycle and shoved him off down the hill. No one had the nerve to check out the subsequent crash site but then no news is good news. The pack eventually emptied the Bucket and moved on to wreak havoc elsewhere. Checking!. Cheers.