Run #471 It’s a Bimbo Thing

Tits and the slightest chance they might see some was the siren song that filled the Gypsies’ ranks last week with Whine & Chowder Society wankers. Rumor has it that Scarlett O’Hairy planted a ring in many noses by promising to flash her finest. The thought of Scarlett’s magical mammaries sent Son of Shit pole vaulting to the parking lot of the old public health hospital at the top of 15^th Ave. off Lake St. Voyeur couldn’t resist Scarlett and even if he could he was incapacitated by the potential of a multibreast extravaganza from Scarlett, Open Wide, Dick Chick, and Beats Me. He arrived with more cameras than are normally found on a National Geographic shoot. Hope springs eternal in the male genitalia and Pencil Dick was there hoping that he’d see a sight that would make him go blind. Broken Trojan was hoping to get a chance to live up to his name. Beastie Boy was hoping to finally see in the flesh what he’s only seen in his favorite stroke magazines. Speaking of favorites everyone’s favorite Puritan, Motor Mount, was there to make sure that no one had anymore fun than his morality allows. Open Wide and her band of Baaad Girls promised the Gypsies an evening’s entertainment that would set their hearts beating, heads pounding, and genitals throbbing, tequila and tits the best and the brightest. Visions of the butts of hares Dick Chick and Open Wide gently swaying into the distance left the pack sorely in need of religion and a strong dose of salt peter. A religious service was led by Just Claire who added her own commentaries complete with bumps and grinds to her reading of the Sacred Missal. Claire’s success was obvious from the amount of steam puffing from Naked Hasher’s ears along with the “frosting” Cupcake spread on his shorts. Their souls more or less saved the pack were off in hot pursuit of their sexual fantasies. Trail led the pack through Mountain Lake Park. Just Claire’s veddy English accent had Dickless Namehole so hot that he chose a bath in the lake to cool his ardor. D’anglin Anglin assuming that Dickless must be on trail followed his lead only to surface with a turtle fastened to his member and obviously enjoying it. While OW and DC were leading the pack a merry chase Scarlett with the help of Nutless Sac who, if he doesn’t get laid soon, is going to get Carpal Tunnel Syndrome in both wrists, was preparing the Jell-O Shot check. Blazing the trail was Just Doesn’t Get It desperate to win the hash or at least be the first one to the Jell-O. Pump Fake was so awed by Manhandler’s ability to suck swallow at least with Jell-O that he stumbled and sprained his ankle. His bid for a sympathy suck was ignored even though he swore it would taste like grape. Still out on trail Grim Rimmer was deeply engrossed in reading Teen Bitch and explaining the finer points of hashing to newboot Just Dan who was suddenly veeery afraid. Having consumed enough Jell-O to keep Bill Cosby happy the pack was off in search of yet more alcohol. *unners without purpose were thrust aside as the pack charged through Golden Gate Park it’s thirst for tequila and tits unquenched. In his mad dash for alcohol Chickless Boner ignored a still quite serviceable corpse. Ever thoughtful Drill Me allowed Bite Size to mark the spot so he could go back after dark. With the murder rate climbing in San Francisco Chickless is getting it more often than Nutless. Trail led the thirsty pack to OW’s abode where she and the Bimbo Brigade had turned the hallway into a party. Beats Me midriff bared and bejeweled was there to hip sling men into the web spun by OW, DC, and Scarlett where they were doused in glitter and filled with hooch... Leather hugged OW’s hips the rest of her creamy flesh was covered only in a feather boa, blood red bra, and thousand watt smile as she called her lambs to the slaughter. Dressed in a black dress that had been spray painted on and wearing a feather boa to tickle their fancy Dick Chick held the chair for those about to enter Heaven’s gate. With Scarlett’s bounteous brace dangling over their noses the poor bastards never felt a thing. Muff Snatcher heard the siren song and a dazed look on his face found himself upside down filled with tequila and margarita mix as the vixens left him shaken and very stirred. Men of all species fell victim to these charmers. Whippet In and Whippet Out were rolling on their backs in hope of a belly scratch. Even an old dog like Tongueless found himself acting like a puppy in their presence. The ladies laughed in his face and praised Fits In for at least having him housebroken as she lead him out by his ear a glazed look in his eye and drool hanging from his chin. Five seconds in the chair and Pied Piper was planning to fake his own suicide and stay there forever. Sadly his wife’s dog threatened to turn him in. Katie must be woman’s best friend. All that estrogen in the air left Lois Lame wondering if she’d like to double her chances of a date on Saturday nights. Likes To Lick a man known for his appetites assuming his baser ones would be satisfied later turned to more urgent needs by gorging on the brownies supplied for the pack’s pleasure. LCB received special attention as befits his adding another year to the notches on his bedpost but, sadly, the yearly ones were the only ones to be added to. While all this lust was going unbridled King Rongjon was lost in the ether along with Enter The Gerbil who preferred being lost to explaining the eau de other women to Bigfoot who arrived late. Also lost was Shithead who decided a twist of the wrist at home was better than looking and not touching. I R Stupid was another late arrival and so dismayed by what he’d missed that Our Ladies of Lust allowed him a private glimpse of Heaven. While the pack was pounding down River Madness from the Sacred Bucket Vincent was once again spending his time with the dogs leading At Your Cervix to lament “I’d cum for him if he’d toss me a boner.” Phone Sex arrived late but still early enough to put the dazed look back in Muff Snatcher’s eyes when she asked him if he could do more with his tongue than tie it when he talks to her. King Rongjon stood back enjoying his vassal’s pleasure. When time arose for dispensing justice in the form of down-downs he strode forth Sword Of Power in hand and with charity for all and malice for none punished the wicked such as LCB for getting older but no less flatulent while rewarding the good like our hares OW, DC, Scarlett, and Beats Me whose presence was reward enough for the pack. The frivolity was continued at Georgio’s Pizza. Alcohol and amour who could ask for anything more. Cheers.