Run #1485 Dogs, Daddies and Keeping it in the Family!

Cuming Mutha put out the call for a gathering of the Gypsies’ pack at the parking lot for McLaren Lodge in Golden Gate Park and his call was answered. When the Outbeer and its keg of Lagunitas Hazy Wonder cargo arrived the parking lot was empty and then the skies opened and suddenly it was full of riff raff looking for cheap beer and word had spread as far away as the Burlington, VermontH3 that the Gypsies are the cheapest drunk in town. Roscoe P. Cumstain and his hound Limp Biscuit arrived from Burlington to check out the story and they stuck around to do the trail. Our hare and On All 4s arrived to oversee the assault on the parking lot. By the time the pack wasn’t clamoring for more pints the parking lot belonged kit and kaboodle to the Gypsies. Roscoe P. Cumstain was so taken by the pittance of a price that he “offered” to lead the Gypsies in prayer and with the Male Missal in hand looked around at all those bowed heads eager for salvation and RPC let fly with a sermon that shook the windows and set the heavens asunder. The sermon worked wonders, Exaggerated Crack closed, and Just Doesn’t Get It dropped to his knees, tears streaming down his face, screamed “I get it!” Do Her Well rolled her eyes and shook her head, apparently this wasn’t the first time she’d heard that from JDGI. Just Atta and Just Alkin the Kebab Bros. just wanted to get the show on the road so they could get back to the keg, good to see they have their priorities in order! Suddenly Jack The Ripper let out a cry of alarm, as the pack looked on he pointed out that Phone Sex was actually at the start of a trail. Closet Twitcher cried out that this was surely a sign of the Apocalypse. Chickenboner allowed that stranger things have probably happened but she wasn’t sure. Our hare seeking to bring calm out of chaos took pity on the pack and sent them off into the night. On All 4s had been on one of the scouting missions so had a pretty good idea of what lay ahead. Like Mother Carey she gathered her chicks, in this case the Lost Patrol, around her and led them off. Trail passed through the parking lot and into the woods. Trail led to the area around Uncle John’s Tree where woods decorated with lights, and you could make them change color by using a phone or dancing around them. The LP, all childlike, were fascinated. Adopt A Pussy became a tree hugger. Twinkle Dick was especially entertained by Wash This Asshole dancing around while he practised the perfect hair toss to catch the different colors. Eventually the LP and pack moved on past the Conservatory of Flowers also brightly lit. OA4s was leading the LP on a tour de force of the exhibitions in the park and the SkyStar Wheel glowed brightly as they approached the Rideout Fountain and the Music Concourse. By this point Backside Banger was thinking how long is this trail going to be and how much drinking time am I missing, neither of which were good thoughts. Trail took the pack across Nancy Pelosi Dr. and through the National AIDS Memorial Grove. Just Judy was wondering if she’d made a mistake by ever starting the trail when she could have been drinking in a nice warm bar with her pick of gents, instead she was careening through GG Park with the likes of King Bed Bug and Hand Pump. Well JJ just remember the saddest words are, “What might have been”. Trail took all and sundry through Robin Williams Meadow and over Hippie Hill before delivering them back to the start. The pack filled the parking lot, the keg was tapped and concealed by the Cloak Of Invisibility which was covered with Vitamin J and the Sacred Bucket was filled with Yellow Peril. Manhole pointed out the Park Police car rolling through the parking lot and studiously avoiding the pack. Pencil Dick and Dr. Kimble went toe to toe in a grudge match over who could put themselves in greater Peril. Cheese Turd pedaled up on his bike and took to pounding the keg. Stinky Floss gleefully started taking bets on whether CT would be on the bike or alongside it when he finished. Tongueless took up the Sword Of Power and convened the Circle. Just Fuck Off and Just Ted AKA The Other Bastard presented Just Asia to the pack leading the wolves to howl (a politically correct way of saying what the lads were thinking). Sadly, thinking was all they got to do. It was a night for naming and Just Tonic joined the Canine Auxiliary of the Order Of The Sleepless Knights as Jerk Your Daddy. Not to be outdone Just Kate kneeled and after being tapped by the Sword arose as Choke Your Daddy the newest member of both the Gypsies’ Order Of The Sleepless Knights and the Daddy clan. Who’s Your Daddy wept but managed to keep it out of his pint. Blow Queen eventually pedaled off on his e-bike loudly complaining that the self-pedaling option wasn’t working. Poor Stinky Floss was just trying to growler up when the keg farted and died. The Bucket wasn’t far behind and Fits In picked up the pieces that were left of T and poured him into the Outbeer. It was a fine way to waste an evening. Cheers.