Run #1486 The Brakes, THE
FUCKING BRAKES!
Dr.
Kimble decided to set
a Gypsies
trail from the parking lot at Drakes Landing in Greenbrae at Sir
Francis Drake Blvd. and Drakes Landing Rd. Two things should have
told the pack what Dr.
K had planned for
them, A. he was giving our shots of Ouzo and B. he asked 5150
what was the farthest he’d gone on his knee scooter. 5150
should have realized it when he told Dr.
K he’d gone 4 whole
blocks at one time and Dr.
K handed him the Ouzo
bottle. Clearly Dr. K
was saying that the keg of Lagunitas
Hazy Wonder wasn’t
going to be enough of a painkiller. The Gypsies
are used to a clown car driven by Hand
Pump but Manhole
was driving the clown truck filled with the likes of Adopt
A Pussy and Blow
Queen. Missed Delivery
picked this *un to return to the Gypsies
fold and he brought that tall drink of water Tonya
Hardon from the East
BayH3. The way Tonya H
was eyeing legs made Hand
Pump happy he didn’t
have ice skates. Cheese Turd nagged his pal Just
Mark into taking a
fling on the Gypsies
simply because JM
and Tongueless
are from Chicago and had gone to high school not far apart and at the
same time, Cheese Turd lit the fuse but wasn’t around for any
explosion, there was none. Speaking of explosions, Missed
Delivery read from the
Male Missal
and detonated a sermon that passersby will be talking about for weeks
to cum! 5 Angry Inches
swore the sermon added at least an extra inch! Dr.
K mumbled a chalktalk
that gave the pack a few more or less mileages for the Eagle/Turkey
trails and that there was a walkers’ trail then sipping from his
Ouzo bottle sent the pack into the night. Trail started with a circle
to which even the Lost
Patrol succumbed.
There was 5150
looking at the paved bit with marks so he said, “Hey, how bad can
this trail be?” Fits
In looked him in the
eye and said, “What fools these mortals be!” Living with T
has given FI
a Shakespearean
outlook on life. Trail went under Highway 101 and across Corte Madera
Creek. The pack got to see the new bike and ped bridge around the
creek and mourn the loss of the famous railroad bridge that Clint
Eastwood jumped off in Dirty Harry. Trail took the pack along the
Cal-Park Hill Pathway through the hill separating Larkspur from San
Rafael. The pack got to enjoy both a hill climb and a drop back down
that involved Manhole
almost running into a neck high wire, he came straight down the hill.
Pied Piper
judiciously turned the corner on a paved path instead. In case anyone
was hungry the pack went through a shopping center with both a West
Brooklyn Pizza Shop and an El Pollo Loco. Once more across the
Freeway and Dr. K’s
question for 5150
took on real relevance. Trail climbed up to 101 and then onto city
streets that were designed to cause nosebleeds. When the trail wasn’t
going straight up a steep section it was switchbacking up an even
steeper one. Manhole
and Wash This Asshole
hung back with 5150
while he pushed himself, and that scooter uphill. The Three Not Very
Wisemen looked very like a 3 Stooges remake. Eventually the summit
was reached where Tiburon Blvd., Bret Harte Rd. and Via La Cumbre
came together. Suddenly the road turned as steeply downhill on Via La
Cumbre as it had been on uphill on the other side. WTA
gave 5150
a shove and yelling, “Ride ‘em cowboy” looked on in delight.
The smoke people saw was from 5150’s
brakes as he tried to keep from sailing off into space or colliding
with cross traffic. Part way down the LP
was met by Bitches
Bitch who was looking
for survivors. He told them that Dr.
K was at the bottom
for an Ouzo check then went off to search for Lois
Lame who was somewhere
on some part of the trail. Eventually trail flattened out at the
bottom and the start which was now the finish was regained. The whole
pack was reunited in dribs and drabs smelling of Ouzo and eventually
Dr. K
staggered back with one leg tied to Adopt
A Pussy and
considerably less Ouzo than he’s started with. Blow
Queen who’d tied the
knot found them terribly amusing. The keg was tapped the Cloak
Of Invisibility set
over it and the Vitamin J was joined by the Sacred
Thermi filled with
coffee and bottles of Irish Cream and Brandy to cut the caffeine. Eat
My Pussy wondered
aloud why when Bitches
Bitch saw him on trail
offered carry him down. Lois
Lame mumbled, “Once
a rescuer always a rescuer”. One
Night Only who was
sweating like a sauna headed home to shower. T
took up the Sword Of
Power and trying not
to cause any accidentally
fatal injuries conducted the Circle. As a virgin, Just
Mark was called up and
asked to entertain the pack, his offer to let Tonya
Hardon kneecap him got
a great response. The keg died heroically and the Sacred
Thermi went home
empty. Cheers.