Run #1353 Boot Camp or Beer
Take Your Pick!
As
a lady of leisure Scarlette
O’Hairy dragooned
her posse of Peteophile,
Just Travis,
Just Katya
and newly added Just
Alison into
assisting her in sending the Gypsies
off on a quest to find flour and then send them into sugar shock. The
pack was gathered at Broadway and Lyon, home of the infamous Lyon St.
steps. Oh the contrast, there were the Gypsies,
emptying bottles of Lagunitas
Undercover Shut Down Ale
down their throats and the oh so chic, ‘I’m fit and just
fabulous” boot camp fashionista fetishists sweating away their
dollars on their “give me 10 more” gurus. “Saint”
Titty Boo Boo was
so overwhelmed that he challenged Tongueless
to throw down and do some naked pushups in the street with a naked
“S”TBB
sitting on his back. Only the intervention of The
Cunt Next Door saved
the world from another horror and a gang of Millennials from
insanity. Our hares are famous for their Thanksgiving Day trails and
that they were deigning to set a trail on another day brought out the
hordes. Dick Ass
Mother Fucker
couldn’t resist standing at the top of the steps ostentatiously
sucking down a beer while anguished fitness fanatics puffed their way
to the top. Udder
Moron swears he saw
one tight tummied blonde bim pass out when DAMF
uttered a soft but satisfied belch. It was more than just unkind of
Just Katya
and Lois Lame
to stand next to a band doing deep knee bends while talking about it
being, “Steak and a Blowjob Day”. Pied
Piper laughed as he
looked at the benders, saying, “I see more than Spring has sprung.”
As if the pack wasn’t already creating a stir Just
Travis, wearing a
glittery green bowtie, preached a very stirring, even Closet
Twitcher felt a
stirring, sermon from the
Male Missal. Cuming
Mutha and On
All 4s moved among
the on looking fitness fans accepting donations and handing out
blessings. Religion is
such an important part of the Gypsies
after all. Our
hares provided a chalktalk letting the pack know that a Jell-O shot
check was in their future and sent the thundering herd down the
steps. Much later Dr.
Kimble spoke of the
ensuing carnage as the pack crazed in search of marks shouldered
aside the tights and cropped-top crowd sending them ass over
teakettle down the steps. By the time the pack set off Just
Katya was already
gone having received more than a dozen invitations to dinner. While
the pack thundered down the steps the Lost
Patrol, having
heard that the down the steps crowd were on an elaborate circle jerk,
went uphill on Lyon and found trail on Pacific Ave. Our hares were
determined that even the LP
should earn their Jell-0 and trail kept climbing. Adopt
A Pussy announced
that he could only stay for so long because he had to get home so he
broke with the LP,
more on that later. After a prolonged tour of Pacific Heights and
it’s manses where Tongue
Depressor and Qaeda
Cunt excreted their
contempt for the wealthy, trail wound it’s way down hill and into
the Presidio and the shiggy portion of the trail. Trail moved through
the woods where marks sent the pack uphill and down almost as far as
Arguello before turning back. Our hares had little use for the trails
preferring to send the pack cross-country. As the LP
approached the public restrooms at Paul Good Field they crossed paths
with Bitch Pimp
and Just Pat,
um, resting. Che
Gayvara appeared
out of nowhere still fulminating about the trail going through that
den of Capitalist *unning dogs. Further along the woods Bitches
Bitch flashed by in
the opposite direction saying he was going back to either find Lois
Lame of die trying,
what a guy! At last the Jell-O check appeared and with it all the
sugar and fat in the world as our hares provided not only the shots
but also myriad cookies and cupcakes. 5150
swears he only consumed 12 Jell-O shots and only 6 with whipped
cream. Knowing T’s
weakness for sweets
Fits In
slipped one of the plastic zipties she always carries over his
wrists. Tears Of
Semen wiped the
tears from T’s
eyes as she ate another cookie. Eventually the pack tore itself away
and staggered back to the start through the Lyon St. Gate. Missed
Delivery seeing
where the evening was going suggested that the pack reenter the gate
and keep prying eyes and ears at distance. MD
can be so wise! The Sacred
Cooler filled with
bottles was opened and the Sacred
Thermi filled with
hot toddys were proffered to ward off the chill. Cream
Chugger managed to
find her way to the pack and Just
Lilly was welcomed
by Tongue Depressor
and Qaeda.
Hand Pump
was beaten out for DFL by Manhole
and Mans Best Hole
who both found what they wanted, one being beer and other, treats.
Blow Queen discussed the ins and outs of the trail while managing to
consume enough alcohol to make himself appear a fount of wisdom to
Adopt A Pussy
who, oddly enough, managed to find a reason not
have had to go home. The pack was blocking the gate and the path and
managed to hold up a cyclist who was new to the city and had gone to
college in Vermont. He found Peteophile,
who had spent time in Vermont, a pleasant conversationalist and took
a liking to the piss and hot toddys. He also took a liking to the
ladies in the pack with Just
Alison explaining
what holiday the day was. When T
had gone to retrieve the Sword,
Stinky Floss
was changing into drier clothes outside the gate and the few
remaining fitness fans were hooting and hollering and tossing her
greenbacks. Our guest managed to stay through down-downs as T
took up the Sword Of
Power and convened
the Circle. 5 Angry
Inches was called
forth for a double d-d because he is trying to keep his liver intact,
what a heinous crime. 5AI
required two stunt drinkers so Stinky
Floss, flush with
cash, and T
stood in for him. Lois
Lame, in her cups,
was once again desperate to get Just
Will named and this
time she had a pack in it’s cups to actually listen to her
entreaties. Alcohol will tell and it really told as the pack listened
to the Lois
and ‘honored” Just
Will by linking him
with T.
Even T
felt bad as Just
Will knelt to be
tapped by the Sword
and arise as Tongueless’
Penis, member of
the Order of the
Sleepless Knights.
Yes, it was that kind of night. Cheers.