Run #1354 The Figure 8 Follies

Last week One Night Only showed off her supervisory skills as she turned “Saint” Titty Boo Boo and his, um, “creativeness” loose on the pack. Said pack was gathered in the parking lot for the Lincoln Park Golf Course at 34^th Ave. and Clement down the hill from the Palace of the Legion of Honor. While ONO held down the fort “S” TBB sped off to give the trail his final touches. Of course he didn’t do anything until he wiggled and waggled his “Daisy Dukes” clad derriere in the face of all and sundry. The keg of Lagunitas IPA was flowing freely as Dick Ass Mother Fucker worked on his male stripper act changing clothes. Adopt A Pussy wondered aloud as to how many people play Take the A Train on a Bluetooth speaker when they’re changing for a *un. Backside Banger had infant Just James with him and quickly covered the gurgling infant’s eyes. Of course it is possible to be too prudish as Cream Chugger showed by covering Just Lilly’s eyes, on the other hand CC herself was watching wide eyed. Udder Moron just grimaced knowing that he was never going to unsee what he’d seen. Pied Piper, we all know that the gutter refuses to let his mind hang out there, pointed to DAMF’s headwear and suggested his name be changed to “Split Crotch Panties.” The Cunt Next Door was saddened to find out he was wearing the cut off sleeve of a T-shirt not pink panties, she’s so hoped to get his advice on attire for “S”TBB. Speaking of names the pack was thrilled to have the voice of Tongueless’ Penis intone the evening’s religious service from the Male Missal. Just Stacey turned to HerAssic Park and said, “You never told me Tongueless’ Penis was so big!” HerAssic Park grimaced and told her the reader and the real thing are very different. Grinning widely Tongueless shook his head, the big one, and said, “A rose by any other name and all that”. Our hares, both of whom had disappeared, left Dr. Kimble in charge of the chalktalk and he put in a manful effort to make sense of their marks. Jack The Ripper suggested that Fleshlight save his tears for the trail where he’d really need them. JTR has a lot of hashing experience. Trail took the pack down 34^th Ave. to turn on Geary Blvd. and head back on itself to Clement St. It was somewhere along here that the whole pack turned into the Lost Patrols, it was take your pick of the one you wanted to join or like Cuming Mutha just be a Lost Patrol of your own. True trail was eventually found and it led into the woods by the VA Hospital at 41^st Ave. Tongue Depressor and Qaeda Cunt saluted the patients as only they can and in the only way they can. Fits In cleaned up their salutes. Trail passed through the hospital grounds and wound it’s way back into the woods behind the Palace of the Legion of Honor before exiting at Legion of Honor Drive and back to the start. “Oh wait, that’s only half the trail,” spake ONO, “it’s a figure 8!” Pencil Dick figured that half an 8 is better than a whole one especially when the alcohol was there so put his foot down firmly and started in on the Sacred Bucket filled with vodka and juices. Closet Twitcher allowed that he could feel all the Vitamin C making him stronger! Cockulus Occulus who abjured not only the second half of the trail but the first as well noted that the Sacred Bucket had a punch in the punch. Chickenboner managed to avoid paying by still being so hungover from the night before that the mere sight of the Bucket sent her screaming home. Who’s Your Daddy paid and stayed to consume Chickenboner’s share of the booze as well. Speaking of which “S” TBB announce that he was taking Friday off so he’d be getting “stinking drunk”, TCND applauded from the chair Dr. K had brought for her. 5150 arrived and took command of Just Gwynnie who decided to pick a fight with Qaeda. Qaeda would have been happy to oblige but JG is so small that Qaeda couldn't see her. Bitches Bitch announced that there was a super Moon that night and it was called a “Worm Moon”. Missed Delivery said what could be better to shine on a pack of worms like the Gypsies. Lois Lame was still trying to get Tongueless’ Penis renamed “Cultural Fuckup” but 5 Angry Inches pointed out LL was going to have to offer more cash if she expected to bribe a bunch of drunks. There was a pileup over who was DFL with Hand Pump edging out Fleshlight and Golden Showers but before he could celebrate Deadbeat won. Now it’s true that Deadbeat would have been less delayed if he hadn’t in front of a moving SFPD car then tried to convince the occupants that dressed all in black he was a ninja on a mission. Tongueless took up the Sword Of Power and convened the Circle, which lasted till he tired of hearing his own voice, never soon enough! Cheers.