Run #1356 Much Ado About Kingliness!

Last Thursday the Gypsies celebrated their 26^th year and as usual it was truly an A(nal) G(rand) M(ockery)! King Rongjon was the hare of course and the tone of the evening was set when he texted Tongueless, “My advice is drink heavily, just getting ready to do the trail. I’m very drunk.” The start was at the south Windmill, the Murphy Windmill, in Golden Gate Park on Martin Luther King, Jr. Drive. While the pack was gathering and blithely unaware of the King’s condition focusing on pints from the keg of Lagunitas Little Sumpin’ Sumpin’ the King arrived and wept bitter tears as he denounced the Irishman who had forced him to down those 6 shots of Jamesons and tried, unsuccessfully, to convince someone else to take up his flour. Giving in to the will of the pack the King set off on a journey of discovery. Dick Ass Mother Fucker with his skateboard undertook observing the King and reporting on any collapses that might occur. This was the point when Cuming Mutha could have made his fortune and he will never forgive himself for not taking the bet that Tongueless offered him, and with odds, that the King would never make it 3 blocks. While the pack was gambling on the King’ survival a band of teenage thespians were doing a rehearsal of the Bard’s Much Ado About Nothing on the lawn and their attention was captured by Bear Back Fanny Pack from the C HarlotvilleH3 preaching from the Traveling Missal. The true artistes not only gave her a standing ovation but came by the Outbeer to get a copy of the Trash and have BBFP autograph it. As the pack took off in search of him the King staggered in and the pack went in search of the putative trail he’d “laid”. Stunning, as it seemed, flour was clearly there taking the pack onto the Great Highway. Oddly enough trial went past the Beach Chalet without leading in, a sure sign that the King had had a problem. Somewhere along this point the pack acquired Phone Sex who was following her nose as much as marks. Backside Banger pointed out that her “scent” of a trail was likely from Just James’ diaper. Adopt A Pussy was quick to insist that the flour did have a distinct whiff of Jamesons since it had cum from the King’s own hand; leave it to a lawyer. The entire pack was so awed at there actually being a trail to follow that it actually stayed together. Trail took the pack into the park and around the Queen Wilhelmina Windmill and Tulip Garden where Tongue Depressor and Qaeda Cunt paid homage to the Tulips by making sure they were properly watered and fertilized. TD and QC are such gardeners. At this point Bitches Bitch brought the news that Cuming Mutha was setting trail in the King’s name and had yellow chalk. CM had sent BB back to get him some flour but instead BB brought the pack forward. Trial took the pack up 47^th Ave. before plunging into the mud where CM substituted making arrows by dragging his foot through the mud. 5150, scholar that his is, quipped that it was like following a trial laid by Richard III. Lois Lame could be seen fluttering like a butterfly above each carefully carved mark. There was no worry of losing our visitor since her voice registered so high on the decibel scale that trees shook. Fits In, she of the eagle eye, spotted small yellow arrows chalked on the few logs not submerged in the mud. When trail finally reached solid ground at Chain of Lakes Dr. E. Pencil Dick dropped to his knees and kissed the concrete. Trail plunged back into the woods and finally exited onto MLK, Jr. Dr and brought the pack back to the start and the first course of dinner, Vitamin J and Sacred Bucket of River Madness. Missed Delivery clutched the Bucket to his bosom and whispered words of love to the River Madness while 5150 filled a small growler from the Bucket. The more BBFP visited the Bucket the deeper in conversation she got with Cream Chugger while Just Lily looked on in wonder. Bitch Pimp arrived having done a circuitous version of the trail. The pack was fed with the usual three 3 foot long sandwiches. 5 Angry Inches, Udder Moron, and Tongueless’ Penis would have made a plague of locusts seem like slow eaters. King Rongjon convened the Circle and called for his Sword Of Power. Dr. Kimble and Manhole among many others begged T not to produce it but produce it he did with the warning that the miscreants maintain a sanely respectful distance from the King and his cutting power. Mans Best Hole just ate more treats. Tongueless’ Penis pointed out that there was no reason to worry since the ground would absorb any blood and the next rain would wash it away. Happily no one remembers if blood was actually shed and Hand Pump tossed the King in his van and drove him the two blocks to his house thereby assuring his survival. His job done Cuming Mutha had left earlier. DAMF tossed BBFP into a Lyft and took her back to her AirBnB but that trip is a tale of its own. Cheers.