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Down Down Songs 

AMAZING BEER
(Melody: Amazing Grace, Lyrics by Splat, East Bay HHH)
 
A-May-Zing beer, 
A taste profound, 
A whole keg just for thee! 
The pack is lost, 
But home you've found, 
The beer check you can see
 
AN DEM BIER aka How Much Beer Has He Been Drinking
(Melody: Ode to Joy, Lycis by Splat, East Bay HHH ) 
 
How much beer has he/she/they been drinking? 
He/she/they is(are) looking really lit. 
As we sing here aren't we thinking, 
"Do we really give a shit?" 
Who's this wanker, so unseemly, 
That his/her/their mom would surely frown? 
Grab that beer and hold it firmly, 
Drink it, drink it, down down down!
 
Variation if its a down down for stoners:
(Written by Ska-Skank Redemption)
 
How much weed have they been smoking
they are looking mighty high
As they stand there happily toking
becoming more red in the eye
Who's that stoner puffing doobies
He ate all the fucking pie
Grab your bowl and hold it firmly
Smoke it til your mouth is dry
 
SHE'S ALL RIGHT
 
She's all right
She's all right
She's a little flat chested, but
She's all right
 
DINAH, WON'T YOU BLOW ME
(Melody: I've Been Working on the Railroad)
 
Dinah, won't you blow me, Dinah, won't you blow me 
Dinah, won't you blow my hooorrr-orn? 
Dinah, won't you blow me, Dinah, won't you blow me 
Dinah, won't you blow my horn?
 
Someone's in my sister's vagina 
Someone's in my sister I knooo-oowww 
Someone's in my sister's vagiiii-naah 
Pumping like a dynamo 
Dynamo, dynamo, dynamo
 
FACE DOWN ASS UP
(Chant)
 
Face down! Ass up!
That's the way we like to fuck
Yo' mama, yo' mama.
Yo' mama says you ugly.
 
U-G-L-Y
You ain't got no alibi
Yo' ugly, yo' ugly.
Yo' mama says you ugly.

1-2-3-4
I can't look at you no more
Yo' ugly, yo' ugly.
Yo' mama says you ugly.

5-6-7-8
I can't even concentrate
Yo' ugly, yo' ugly.
Yo' mama says you ugly.

D-A-DD-Y
You don't even know that guy.
Yo' ugly, yo' ugly.
Yo' daddy says you ugly

U-N-CL-E
He is really your daddy
Yo' uncle, yo' uncle,
Yo' uncle is yo' daddy

CO-U-SI-N
That's who you'll be marryin'
Yo' cousin, yo' cousin,
Yo' cousin says you ugly

IN-B-RE-D
That's what your kids'll be
Yo'r inbred, yo'r inbred,
Yo'r kids all say you ugly

Drink it down, down, down, down

 
HEINEKEN, SCHMEINEKEN
(Chant) 
 
Heineken, schmeineken, 
Fuck that shit! 
Pabst . . . Blue . . . Ribbon! 
 
HE'S THE MEANEST
 
He's the meanest 
He sucks the horse's penis 
He's the meanest 
He's the horse's ass
Ever since he found it (hey!) 
All he does is pound it (hey!) 
He's the meanest 
He's the horse's ass
 
So drink chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug 
Drink chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug
 
HE OUGHTA BE PUBLICLY PISSED ON 
 
He oughta be publicly pissed on 
He oughta be publicly shot (bang bang) 
He oughta be tied to a urinal 
And left there to fester and rot
 
HERE'S TO BROTHER HASHER 
 
Here's to Brother Hasher 
Brother hasher, brother hasher 
Here's to Brother Hasher 
May he chug-a-lug
He's happy, he's jolly 
He's fucked up, by golly 
Here's to Brother Hasher 
May he chug-a-lug
 
So drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker 
Drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker 
Here's to Brother Hasher 
May he chug-a-lug
 
HOLD IT IN YOUR HAND, MRS. MURPHY
 
Hold it in your hand, Mrs. Murphy 
It only weighs a quarter of a pound 
It's got hair round its neck like a turkey 
And it spits when you jerk it up and down, down, down, down....
 
HOT VAGINA
(Melody:  The Eyes of Texas Are Upon You)
 
Hot vagina for your breakfast
Hot vagina for your lunch
Hot vagina for your dinner
Just munch munch munch munch munch
It's so tasty and delicious
Bite size and ready to eat
So grab your chick
Give her a lick
Hot vagina can't be beat!
 
IF HE DIDN'T HAVE A PENIS HE COULD THINK
(Melody/Lycrics by Captain Jack Swallows, San Diego HHH)
 
If he didn't have a penis he could think.
If he didn't have a penis he could think.
If he didn't have a penis, he would be a fucking genius
If he didn't have a penis he could think
 
Alternate version for harriets:
If she only had a penis he could think.
If she only had a penis he could think.
If she only had a penis, she would be a fucking genius
If she only had a penis he could think
 
IT’S A SMALL DICK
(Melody: It's a Small World/Contributed by Hazukashii) 
 
Well it isn't long and it isn't thick, 
It gets hard too slow and it cums too quick, 
It gets lost in her twat, 
But it's all that he's got, 
It's a small, small, dick. 
It's a small dick after all, 
It's a small dick after all, 
Always limp from alcohol, 
It's a small, small, dick! 
 
LOVE ME TENDER
(Melody: Love Me Tender, Lyrics by Nipple Me Elmo) 
 
Love me tender, love me sweet 
Wrap your lips around my meat 
Watch me smile and watch me grin 
As the cum rolls down, down, down, down, down etc . . .
 
MY ASSHOLE IS SORE
(Melody: My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean)
 
My asshole is sore from your fucking 
My asshole is sore from your dick 
My asshole is sore from your raming
So give it a rest, you prick, you prick, you prick
 
MY VAGINA HURTS
(Melody: Oh My Darlin' Clementine)
 
My vagina, my vagina, my vagina really hurts
I would rather have
A sore vagina
Than a face that
Looks like yours
 
HIS ONE SKIN HANGS DOWN
(Melody: My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean)
 
His one skin hangs down to his two skin 
His two skin hangs down to his three 
His three skin hangs down to his fore skin 
His fore skin hangs down to his knees
 
Roll back, roll back 
Roll back his foreskin for him, for him 
Roll back, roll back 
Roll back his foreskin for him
 
MEET THE HASHERS
(Melody: The Flintstones)
 
Hashers, meet the hashers 
We're the biggest drunks in history 
From San Francisco (or Town of Frisco*)
We are leaders in debauchery
 
Half-minds, trailing shiggy through the years 
Watch us, as we down a lot of beers 
Down down, down down down down, 
Down down down down down down down down 
Down down down down down 
Down down down down down down

MY DNA (AKA YOUNG GIRLS)
(Melody: YMCA)

Young Girl,
I like it when you go down,
I said Young Girl,
Won't you kneel on the ground,
I said Young Girl,
With you lips full and round,
On you knees you make me happy.

(Spit, spit, spit, spit, spit)

I want to spraay you with My DNA,
I want to spraay you with My DNA,
It's a present from me,
A gift to all of the girls,
I sure hope you like to wear pearls.

Drink it down, down, down, ...

SAN FRANCISCO SUCK MY BALLS
(Melody: Its a Small World)
 
It's cold and it's damp and it's lib-er-al
The schools all suck and the jails are full
The earthquake is near
Yet it's Bush that they fear
San Francisco suck my balls (repeat 3x)
You can suck me off (with emphasis on the last three words)
 
(Additional verse by Lost In Foreskin)
For the guys are gay and the girls are hot,
oh wait is that a chick oh shit its not
for all the girls are manly 
and all the guys are tranny's
San Francisco suck my balls (repeat 3x)
You can suck me off (with emphasis on the last three words)
 
SKEETER SONG
 
There's a skeeter on my peter, whack it off
There's another on my brother, whack it off
There's a dozen on my cousin
You can hear the bastards buzzin',
There's a skeeter on my peter, whack it off.
 
WANKERS AWAY
(Melody: Anchors Aweigh)
 
Wankers away, my friend, wankers away
We love to hash all night and hash all of the very next day
'Cuz hashing is better than a pocket full of gold
We love to hash because it never gets old ... 
 
WHEN IT'S INCENT TIME IN TEXAS
(Melody The Yellow Rose of Texas)
 
When it's incest time in Texas
And there's no cunt to be found
Your mother's in the outhouse
With her panties halfway down
No time for masturbation
No time to beat your meat
When it's incest time in Texas,
Mother-fucking can't be beat!
 
WHIP IT OUT AT THE BALL GAME
(Melody: Take Me Out to the Ball Game)
 
Whip it out at the ball game 
Wave it round at the crowd 
Dip it in peanuts and cracker jack 
If you like you can give it a whack 
'Cause it's beat your meat at the ball game 
If you don't come it's a shame 
For it's one, two, you've covered in goo 
At the old ball game
 

Songs for Special Occasions

BIRTHDAY SONG
(Melody: Happy Birthday to You)
 
Happy birthday, fuck you, 
Happy birthday, fuck you, 
Happy birthday, you asshole, 
Happy birthday, fuck you. 
Drink it down, down, down . . . 
 
 
Usually sung when somone is bragging or making up a story:
 
BULLSHIT
 
Bullshit, bullshit,
It all sounds like bullshit to me, to me.
Bullshit, bullshit,
It all sounds like bullshit to me.
 
(optional addition)
Someone's in my sister's vagina 
Someone's in my sister I knooo-oowww 
Someone's in my sister's vagiiii-naah 
Pumping like a dynamo 
Dynamo, dynamo, dynamo
 
Usually sung when naming a hasher:
 
HERE'S TO <HASH NAME>
 
Here's to <Hash Name>, 
S/he's true blue, s/he's a Hasher, 
Through and through, 
S/he's a pisspot, 
So they say, 
Tried to go to heaven,  
But s/he went the other way,  
So drink it down, down, down . . . 
 
Songs for returners:
 
WHERE, OH WHERE, WERE YOU LAST WEEK?
(To the tune of that song from "Hee-Haw")
 
Where, oh where, were you last week?
Why did you make us hash all alone 
You fat lazy bastard, you weren't even here 
So we drank all the virgins and fucked all the beer
Down, down, drink it all down
Drink it all down, drink all of that beer 
 
Songs for the hares:
 
SHITTY TRAIL
 
S-H-I-T-T-Y  T-R-A-I-L

Shitty trail (It sucked!),
Shitty trail (It really sucked!),

THE MOTHERFUCKERS LAID A SHITTY TRAIL!

I would rather stay here and drink my beer than r*n your shitty trail.

S-H-I-T-T-Y  T-R-A-I-L

SHITTY HARE
(Melody: Living on a Prayer, Lyrics by Krusty the Meat Miser) 
Notes: Sung to hares for shit-tastic trails. Often only the last verse is sung.

You should’ve used more flour or chalk
We followed your marks
They said “You’ve been fucked”
It sucked
It sucked

We wanted to drink Magic Hat
But lost on your trail
We’d have settled for Pabst
You suck
You suck

You’ve got to hold on to the drink you’ve got
It doesn’t make a difference if it’s beer or a shot
This is for the tit checks you forgot… on trail…    (NOTE: Show tits)
You’re drinking a lot!

Ohhh, there was no beer out there
Ohhh oh, you’re a shitty hare
Take some flour, and use it on trail
Ohhh oh, you’re a shitty hare
You’re a shitty hare!                    (NOTE: Simulate 80s hair band awesomeness)

HEY HARES
(Melody: Hey Jude)

Hey hares
Your trail was shit
You got the pack lost
Now go and find them
Remember to use flour and chalk
And your next trail
Will be much better better better better better better yeah!
Down down down down down down, down down down, shitty hares.

Long Group Songs

YOGI BEAR SONG
(Melody: Camptown Races)

There is a bear in the deep dark woods,
Yogi, Yogi,
There is a bear in the deep dark woods,
Yogi, Yogi Bear.
 
CHORUS (REPEAT PREVIOUS VERSE):
Yogi, Yogi Bear!
Yogi, Yogi Bear!
There is a bear in the deep dark woods,
Yogi, Yogi Bear.
 
VERSES
Yogi has a little friend, 
Boo-Boo, Boo-Boo
Yogi has a little friend, 
Boo-Boo, Boo-Boo Bear
Boo-Boo, Boo-Boo Bear!
Boo-Boo, Boo-Boo Bear!
Yogi has a little friend, 
Boo-Boo, Boo-Boo Bear

Yogi has a girlfriend, Cyndi, Cyndi, ...
Cyndi has a shaven snatch, Grizzly, Grizzly, ...
Cyndi wears crotchless undies, Teddy, Teddy, ...
Cyndi likes it on the ice, Polar, Polar, ...
Cyndi gets what she deserves, Pregnant, Pregnant, ...
Cyndi likes it up the rear, Dirty, Dirty, ...
Cyndi's tampon has no string, Cotton, Cotton, ...
Yogi didn't use a condom, Daddy, Daddy, ...
Boo-Boo likes it upside down, Koala, Koala, ...
Boo-Boo has a twelve-inch cock, Cindy's a lucky bear, ...
Boo-Boo's only three feet tall, Yogi's a lucky bear, ...
Boo-Boo likes it up the butt, Yogi's a lucky bear, ...
Yogi’s girlfriend has no teeth, Gummi, Gummi, ...
Yogi didn't wipe his butt, Brown, Brown, ...
Yogi’s in the NRA, Right to, Right to, ...
Yogi uses Afro-Sheen, Black, Black, ...
Yogi got a case of crabs, Itchy, Itchy, ...
Boo-Boo likes to stroke his tool, Wanker, Wanker, ...
Yogi also likes young boys, Poofter, Poofter, ...
This song has gone on way too long, More than, More than (I can bear), ...
 
I USED TO WORK IN CHICAGO
(Melody: The Bear Went Over the Mountain)
 
CHORUS: 
I used to work in Chicago, 
In a department store, 
I used to work in Chicago, 
I don’t work there any more. 
 
Optional Verses: 

A lady came in for some carpet, 
Some carpet from the store, 
Carpet she wanted, 
Laid she got, 
I don’t work there any more. 

A lady came in for some nails, 
Some nails from the store, 
Nails she wanted, 
Screwed she got, 
I don’t work there any more. 

A man came in for a balloon, 
A balloon from the store, 
Balloon he wanted, 
Blown he got, 
I don’t work there any more.

A man came in for a lollipop, 
A lollipop from the store, 
A sucker he wanted, 
Sucked he got, 
I don’t work there any more.

A lady came in for drain cleaner, 
Drain cleaner from the store,
Drano she wanted,
Clean pipes she got,
I don’t work there any more.

A lady came in for a pony, 
A pony from the store,
Horse she wanted,
Ridden she got,
I don’t work there any more.

A man came in for some wheels, 
Some wheels from the store,
Wheels he wanted,
Rimmed he got,
I don’t work there any more.

A woman came in for a doughnut,
A doughnut from the store,
Glazed she wanted,
Creme-filled she got,
I don’t work there any more.

A lady came in for a throw rug,
A throw rug from the store,
Rug she wanted,
Rug-burned she got,
I don’t work there any more.
 
JESUS SAVES
(Melody: Battle Hymn of the Republic)
 
Free beer for all the hashers;
Free beer for all the hashers;
Free beer for all the hashers;
Jesus Saves, Jesus Saves, Jesus Saves!
Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause he’s nailed upon the cross;
Jesus can't go hashing cause he lays the trail in blood;
Jesus can't go hashing cause he’ll turn it into wine;
Jesus won’t come hashing because Judas pissed him off;
Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause he’s only got 12 friends.
Jesus can’t go hashing, he’s got shiggy on his head.
Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause his wood is just too big.
Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause his dad knows all the trails.
Jeses can't go hashing cause the jew won't pay 6 bucks
Jesus can't go hashing cause he shortcuts on the lake
Jesus can't go hashing cause the flour goes through his hands
Jesus can't go hashing cause he's busy mowing lawns
All the harriettes love Jesus ’cause he’s hung like this (spread out arms);

The S&M Man
(Melody: The Candy Man)
Note: The first two lines of the verses are repeated by the group
 
CHORUS:
The S & M man, Oh, the S & M man,
The S & M man because he mixes it with love,
And makes the hurt feel good.
The hurt feel good.
 
Who can take a hammer,
Shove it up her twat,
Move it back and forth, ‘Til he finds her G-spot,
 
Who can go to the abortion clinic,
Sneak around the back,
Root around the dumpster, And find a tasty snack?
 
Who can go to an Abortion Clinic,
Fuck sneaking around the back,
Kick down the door, And take a fresh one from a snatch.
 
Who can take a hammer,
Wave it overhead,
And slam it on his pecker, ‘Til he wishes he were dead?
 
Who can take some sandpaper,
Gotta be 50 grit,
Rub it back and forth, ‘Til she has a bleeding clit?
 
Who can take his bicycle,
Take away the seat,
Put his girlfriend on it, Ride her down a bumpy street?
 
Who can take a razor,
And no shaving cream,
Scrape her pussy bald, While he listens to her scream?
 
Who can take a mallet,
Claim that he’s a stud,
Smash it on his pecker, ‘Til it starts to ooze blood?
  
Who can take a light bulb,
Shove it up her ass,
Fuck her up the rear, ‘Til she’s shitting chunks of glass?
 
Who can take a chainsaw,
Cut the bitch in two,
Fuck the bottom half, And toss the other half to you?
 
Who would take a condom,
Put pepper in the ring,
Use it on the wife, ‘Cause she twitches when it stings?
 
Who can take two ice picks,
Stick one in each ear,
And ride her like a Harley, While he fucks her up the rear?
 
Who can take a hair curler,
Turn it up on high,
Stick it in her cunt, And listen to her fry?
  
Who can take a Catholic Priest,
Bend him over the pew,
Fuck him up the ass, Till he screams that he’s a Jew?
 
Who can take a puppy,
Hold it by the ears,
Fuck it in the ass, Until it sheds those puppy tears?
  
Who can take a cheese grater,
Strap it to his arm,
Fist fuck the bitch,
And make vagina parmesan?
 
Who can take a pregnant woman,
Fuck her ’till she’s dead,
Leave his dick inside her, ‘Till the fetus gives him head?
  
Who can take a nail gun,
Climb as high as he can,
Nail his pecker down, And then Bungee like a MAN!
 
Who can take a Harriette,
Lay her on the bed,
Look between her thighs, then masturbate instead.
 
Random Shit
 
A Limerick for Ska-Skank Redemption
There once was a Skank from Orlando
She used to be a guy named Fernando
Her boobies she'd show
and kisses she'd blow
but she'd only fuck guy's going commando.
 
Special thanks to the following for hymals from which most of these songs were copied from: