Run #1386 Oh the Horrors!

Thursday last was All Hallows Eve perfect for the Gypsies’ 26^th Anal Halloween Pub Crawl. Tongueless that mindless lapdog was perfect as a Labradoodle and Bitch Pimp who earned her medal of courage as the Cowardly Lion hared the trail and live…or as live as T ever is. BP definitely earned her medal by putting up with T the perpetual whine machine. Where better to gather the pack than the Hell Mouth, more commonly known as Front and Union. E=MCFucked was a green haired witch and by evening’s end he was green to the gills. BP made sure the pack had plenty of bottles of Lagunitas Hazy IPA to start their engines. Cream Chugger was the epitome of hash legend with those “horns upon her head” and brought Just Andrew who was in SF from Iowa. Who knew that CC is thinking about the Iowa caucuses and JA is testing the Iowa waters for her, wow! Speaking of music Just Pat was hoping she wouldn’t end up as a “Smashing Pumpkin” over the course of the evening. Speaking of politics Who’s Your Daddy was dressed as the official Gypsies’ position on healthcare, a nurse in a very short skirt. The hares were away leaving the pack in the good hands of Fits In who as Carmen was suitably operatic. While our hares were marking trail to the first pub, Pier 23 the pack was being brought to tears by Just Andrew’s moving sermon from the Male Missal. CSI who was a “fly” on the wall, no disrespect to Jeff Goldblum, reported the pack’s response when she caught up at Pier 23. It was perfect that there was a contest for best costume on a dog but BP was not allowed to enter T. Once the pack was established and drinks were in hand it was “hares away”. The pack in the meantime was dancing their brains out thanks to the live music. While the pack was working up a sweat on the dance floor our hares were doing the same climbing the Filbert steps up past to Grant St. BP decided to incentivize T by telling him if he fell she had no intention of carrying him. Of course they wanted to make it harder for the pack so they tossed in a backcheck that had Blow Queen, who may or may not have been a vulture in costume< wishing them to be carrion. Tears Of Semen had took a kindlier gentler attitude befitting her animal exterior and only wish the hares to suffer minor sprains. Our hares laid trail over the hill and far away to the Church Key on Grant. Unfortunately T had told FI that pub 2 was The Saloon, oops! The Church Key finally filled with the pack and FI kicked T in the crotch, which of course at his age means nothing was touched. Twinkle Dick was the FRB thanks to his lightweight costume Basset Hounds are lightweight; luckily he didn’t trip over his ears. HerAssic Park looking fine in her pearls and little black dress had danced herself out and sore footed it into the night. 5150 dressed as the worlds least effective pimp, think subdued gaudy, couldn’t recruit her into his stable and he’s her father! Missed Delivery arrived at this point and with his hair that green and the alcohol flowing Fits In wondered if MD was a Granny Smith Apple. All were pleased when he vowed to keep his face off the concrete for a change. The hares were away and BP suffering from OCD actually laid a trail with a check just to go down the street to Tupelo. Tupelo was where Just Jeff, BP’s significant other was waiting sometimes it pays to carry your cell if you want to avoid an angry SO. Tupelo was overcrowded and loud but then again it was serving alcohol so…. While the pack listened to the music the hares were off to Spec’s. Spec’s is old San Francisco and welcomed the pack and it’s money. Hell, Spec’s even provided some cheese off a huge wheel of Gouda. Pied Piper chose this point to arrive and immediately fell in love with the massive cheese cutter. PP has a penchant for giving his heart to sharp objects, look at Cold Cuts. Chickenboner and WYD had made a side jaunt to Kennedy’s Irish Pub and Curry House this being their last night in business and they gave the place a “meh” for being jammed and not being able to get a drink, no such problem existed here. The hares were soon away to the Gypsies’s home away from home, the closed and now reopened, Bamboo Hut a bar of Gypsies legend. That Witchy woman, Phone Sex cast her spell over the crowd or it might have been that Volcano Bowl 5150 ordered. King Rongjon, that manliest of men, was properly accoutered as a commando complete with at jaunty beret. RJ and Fits In took command of a corner of the bar and held off all cumers. Once umbrella coifed boat drinks began flowing E=MCFucked pointed out that if the Evil Queen of legend had looked like Chickenboner Snow White would have been toast. Cockulus Oculus skunked the dance floor and Missed Delivery found himself with white stripe fever. T and FI hared it back to the start and the Sacred Bucket was filled with FI’s newly invented Caribbean Commie, at this point overkill. The pubcrawl had turned into an evening of only the strong survive and that didn’t include the King. Bitches Bitch and Lois Lame were still going strong with BB in his pink unicorn suit and LL as a slender, early, Janis Joplin. CSI gifted the pack with a jar of Ghost Pepper Cheese Spread that LL swallowed leaving her looking more like Janis when they found the body. More appealing were CSI’s flaming hot Cheetos and can of Cheeze Whiz spray, no one can accuse the Gypsies of lacking gourmet tastes. T took up the Sword Of Power and convened the Circle. He had a special focus on LL who offended him by suggesting he not wear a hat in Circle. Cockulus Oculus pointed out to BB that real unicorns don’t scream “Off with her head” as loud as they can at 11:30 at night. The pack did rescue Just Amy, a civilian who had worked way to late, and brought her into the Circle to drink from the Bucket. She was a very happy camper as she staggered off. Sometimes it’s just one of those nights and this was one of them. Cheers.